Recently I attended a memorial service held in a church. That is not always true nowadays, when memorial service locations may be just as diverse as wedding locales. Faith does not necessarily enter into the decision; the family may chose a location based on the number of attendees expected or even the deceased’s favorite fishing spot.
For people unfamiliar with churches and the decorum expected therein, and I recognize this includes many of us, churches may seem like an awkward location for some families, especially if many unbelievers are expected to attend.
To my thinking a funeral is one of the best ways to share one’s faith with our families, mostly because family doesn’t give a lot of credence to our words while we are sitting across the kitchen table whereas they may listen more closely to our friends, who testify to our joyful attitude and changed lives because of our walk with Jesus.
This particular memorial service wasn’t very organized, and as people entered the front door of the church there was no one to greet them, which can be quite baffling in an unfamiliar place. I have been in this church several times before, but I missed that there was a program I was to pick up. Sitting in the pew after the service began I realized others around me had one, but I deemed it too awkward to rise then and go in search of a bulletin.
The fact that I am very deaf meant, by not having a program, I lost the opportunity to participate in the service. Unfortunately there also was a weak sound system, and I could not hear any of the family’s eulogies – which I particularly enjoy.
All of these things combined made me wonder how welcoming my own church is to those who do not regularly attend, or have never attended a church, when weddings, funerals or even regular services are held.
As I reviewed this in my mind I know I have been asked several times about the hearing device I use because I always pick one up before I sit down. Unfortunately, many times the question has arisen after the service, too late to be of aid to others. That thought caused me to chat with our sound technician, asking if we could have an announcement run across the screens before the service mentioning we have these devices available.
As I considered other ways we welcome visitors to our regular services I recognized that we do have a wonderful team of ushers at the doors of the sanctuary to answer questions and give directions. One of our members brilliantly created small packets with crayons to keep the younger children entertained until their Children’s Service begins. And we do have bulletins listing the order of our service. All of those truly are a help.
Our pews are older and the seats are cushioned but still very hard. We have single-seat cushions available in the back of the church if one is desired, but who might realize they need one until seated? I am considering all of our regular attendees should make it a point to ask visitors if they are comfortable and offer them an extra cushion – most especially if they are elderly or use a cane.
But as I pondered how unchurched people might feel I could imagine that the entire service would seem quite foreign to them. It could be somewhat like me sitting in the pew without a hearing device, I just plain do not know what is going on. I can read the bulletin, but when to stand or sit pretty much is only done by following the leader.
We all want our churches to be enjoyed and welcoming to our visitors and attendees, and to do that we might take time to get some feedback. My husband Neil and I just returned from a family meeting in Pennsylvania. We stayed at a larger chain hotel, and they sent us a survey to ask about our stay. Is this something we might do for a short time in our high visitor months of July and August? Maybe we could hand them out with a self-addressed return envelope. I know when I complete surveys I am most likely to do so when something has not been right rather than when everything was perfect. It is a consideration.
Our church desires to a place where people come to know Jesus as Lord and grow along with us. We want to share our joy at having found our Redeemer. I do pray that in thinking all these things through that when we smile and say hello we will greet our guests as we would to our home – Welcome, come on in!
Editor’s note: Amy Patsch writes from Ocean City. Email her at writerGoodGod@gmail.com.
