My childhood sweetheart and I just celebrated our 32nd wedding anniversary. As I reflect back on our past, I realize how blessed I am to have married a man who valued the ideal of commitment.
Marriage is not easy. Time passes quickly and becomes the very enemy that will test all marriages. The pressure of work, endless bills, children, and life’s ups and downs will be the stressors that challenge the foundation of the relationship and eventually reveal what it is made of.
In our early days, my husband’s salary was meager. He didn’t pressure me to work outside the home and never diminished my self-worth by complaining about how much more we could have and give our children if only I took a paying job.
Did the choice to be a stay-at-home mom mean sacrifice? You bet. I clipped coupons, shopped at thrift stores, and insisted that my kids read lots of books so we could earn a night out as a family with a free dinner at Pizza Hut through the “BOOK IT!” program.
Our family vacation was an exhaustive 20-hour drive to visit my parents in their Florida home. We loaded our station wagon with a cooler filled with enough meals and goodies to get us there without a pit stop except for restroom breaks.
We packed our kids in the back of our car along with luggage, athletic equipment, and sleeping bags. Wedged into their cubbyhole crevices, the boys and I passed the monotonous hours with word games like “I Spy,” license-plate counting, and — of course — the oft-repeated “Mom, he’s bothering me” kept us all occupied.
One year, we unexpectedly received a lavish gift of three-day passes to Disney World®. We stayed at an inexpensive roadside hotel. Not wanting to miss a single attraction, we rose before the sun and raced to the park entrance, anxious for the gates to open. And we were the last ones filing out at night.
Our frenzied trek through the many theme parks would make the contestants on today’s Amazing Race show look like amateurs. There we were a family of six — each loaded down with an individual backpack stuffed to bursting with sandwiches, snacks, and drinks— sprinting to the various displays with unbridled enthusiasm. Filled with eager excitement, we were determined to experience the whole world of Disney.
I remember envying the other families, all of whom appeared able to afford accommodations at the park. I wondered what it would be like to provide our children the experience of a luxury vacation—staying inside the resort and eating wherever we wanted. But none of that seemed to matter to our kids.
Those days comprise some of our favorite memories, and we still get a good laugh recalling how we shoveled snacks and sandwiches down our throats as we scurried from line to line.
So as families begin to feel the stress of an economic downturn, it could be the perfect opportunity to reprioritize the important things in life. It is not about getting the biggest and the best; it is not about driving the “right” car or having all the latest gadgets. The finest we have is what we give to each other: time, encouragement, and support.