Speaking in the Light

I had the awesome privilege of what turned out to be a never a dull moment adventure when I worked full time in Youth Ministry from 1982 until 1997. This was before I transitioned to become the Senior Pastor with the responsibility of shepherding the entire flock when I came to The Lighthouse Church back in the summer of 97.
Who would have believed that all these years later I would once again be working with high school students? Well believe it or not I am, and I love every minute of it. I am hoping that the kids are enjoying hanging out with me as much as spending quality time with them pleases me. I am convinced that age is not a barrier when genuine love and compassionate concern is truly being expressed. And this much I know: I want those kids to grow up knowing that they are loved so that they may practically pass on that love that keeps this world spinning in the right direction.
Back in the earlier days of my first go around of ministering to the youth- during the days when I had lots more hair on my head than what seems to now only be growing out of my ears, a large part of my time in working with the teens was spent by me roaming the hallways of the local high schools and junior highs.
I would do this so that I could observe and actively build relationships in order that I could connect spiritually with the young people that I was working with. I have to be honest with you; everything that was said to the students by their fellow peers didn’t exactly fall into the power of positive encouragement category.
Much of what was being yelled and shouted out to each other was harsh and negative and not what you would yearn to hear if you were longing to strengthen a fragile self-esteem.
Oh, it was passed along under the guise of being “all in fun” and packaged neatly within a joke that would make everyone laugh but I could not help but think that while these kids were laughing on the outside, they were crying and even dying a little bit more on the inside. Some things haven’t changed after all this time and one of those adages that still seem to be true is that it is still cool to be cruel.
I feel strongly that I have to address the amount of negative and not so constructive criticism that is being tossed around these days. Sarcasm can be a deadly poison and it is not just a teen problem. We adults, as much as we would like to think that our identity is firmly in place and that sticks and stones may break our bones but names will never hurt us, are just as vulnerable to collapse now as were then.
This is one reason why it is so hard for me to understand why are we still so nasty to one another?
I liken it to what happens at many athletic events. It occurs as frequently at the youth games as it does at the professional level. Here you have these athletes, who more times than not are really trying and doing their very best out there. They are playing hard and they must do their job while performing their abilities in front of thousands of wide-eyed onlookers. This has got to make their tasks sometimes a little more difficult.
And if you want these athletes to come through for you, why would you ever dress them down with cheap talk and below the belt verbal assaults? I have to laugh when I see that most of the loudest hecklers in the crowd are the ones that are way out of shape and even in their best day you have got to wonder if they could even dress themselves, never mind hit a 95-mile an hour fastball.
It is much too simple to criticize from the safety of the crowd. It is way too easy to be negative. It is too contagious to join the company of complainers. It is cowardly to make no difference at all but just blindly go along with the rabble that quickly points out the inadequacies in everyone but does very little to improve them. You don’t believe me?
Check out this week’s “Spout Off!” Count the number of encouraging statements and compare that number to the gripes. When was the last time you were moved to say something nice to somebody just to affirm them? Everybody needs that kind of refreshment trying to grow in the midst of a drought of kindness.
I have always believed that you don’t beat on a horse with the intention to break the animal’s spirit. You don’t kick a dog to teach the animal obedience. You don’t shame a man or a woman when they are already down and out. And you should never verbally abuse another just to make yourself look or feel better.
If this column does any good this week, it is to challenge you to balance your critical statements with positive ones. It has been said that it takes seven positive statements to off set every negative one.
Now don’t misunderstand me and take this to mean that we should not challenge and call each other to do our very best. I believe that too many people go through life never reaching and going after all the God-given potential that He has blessed them with.
The Bible is full of challenges to pursue and run the race of life with nothing short of excellence. I am exhorting us to make sure that we pass out as many “life sentences” as we do “death sentences!” Use your tongue wisely, it could very well be a deadly weapon.
We are a very powerful race when it comes to the way we use our words. We can pass on statements that build up a person and lead them to a more productive life and positive self-esteem or we can rip into them and cut them to pieces with our piercing remarks and hateful jabs. What is filling your speech today?
Does somebody need to wash your mouth out with soap? How do people leave after having a conversation with you? Do they thank God that they have been with you? Do they feel like trash after you have dumped them on? Do you realize that you may be more powerful than you realize?
Let me leave you today with the ancient wisdom from Proverbs 12:25. It reads, “An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.”
Whether you are a teen battling with your self image on the playground or an adult trying to remember that you are somebody in the midst of everybody calling you a “nobody,” may I remind you today that you have been fearfully and wonderfully created by a God who wants to see you reach and realize all that He intended for you when He first designed for your personality to make a positive mark on this universe.
Now go and see who needs to be given a “life sentence” today and then pass it on.
Write Pastor Rudy pastorrudytlc@comcast.net