I have been performing quite a few wedding ceremonies these days, and I have to say that there is nothing quite like seeing a bride on her wedding day. Sorry guys, but we are just props! Have you ever heard anybody say, “I wonder what the groom is wearing?” It is the bride who is the center of attention. She is the one delighted in and she is the one who shines. And how lucky I am to have the best seat in the house getting to see this radiant woman float down the aisle as beside me is a very lucky and nervous young man awaiting the privilege to take this wonderful girl as his wife!
This is what makes me very sad when I see too many young ladies mistreated and not offered the tenderness and respect that they so deserve. Nobody should ever settle in a relationship! Especially one where the vows being made are supposed to be carried out for a lifetime. Ladies, if you don’t know for sure that this man that you are about to commit to will fight for your honor rather than just fight with you or continue to love you and take care of you and cherish you not just with his talk, but with his walk, then run!
Believe it or not, much worse than not being married at all, is being in a marriage from hell with nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. And the terrible truth is that these unions could have been prevented if only people would stop settling for something they can’t rationalize into reality.
It is at this point I would like to share with you one of my favorite wedding stories that I have imparted to many individuals embarking upon a lifetime hopefully filled with more bliss than just this. By the way, to model what is presented in this tale practically guarantees the wonderful parts of marriage to be a sure thing and not just a fairy tale.
This is the tale about a guy named Johnny Lingo. Johnny lived in the South Pacific. The local islanders all knew him and held him in the highest regard. Johnny was strong, unusually handsome and very intelligent.
Everyone thought that he was destined to marry the prettiest girl in the village. When it came time for Johnny to choose the woman that he was going to wed as his mate, people shook their heads in disbelief.
The woman Johnny ended up falling for turned out to be plain, skinny and walked with her shoulders hunched and her head always looking down. She was very hesitant and overly withdrawn and shy. She was also a bit older than the other married women in the village, which did nothing to help her value.
But Johnny loved her truly, madly and deeply. What made everyone’s mouth drop wide open was the dowry that Johnny offered to this woman’s father to be granted permission to marry her.
In order to obtain a wife in Johnny’s native land, one paid for his bride-to-be by giving her father cows. This carried more weight than any money made from paper or metals. Four to six cows were considered a fortune.
The other villagers thought that Johnny was taking the thrifty route and probably got his bargain basement girl for two or three cows. But Johnny paid eight cows for her!
Everyone chuckled and snickered as Johnny passed by, since they believed that his father-in-law had put one over on him. Some thought it had to be a mistake. Several months after the wedding, a visitor from the United States came to the Islands to trade and heard the story of Johnny Lingo and his eight-cow wife. Upon meeting Johnny and his wife, the visitor was totally taken aback, since this woman was not shy, plain and hesitant at all, but one who was beautiful, poised and confident.
The visitor asked about this transformation and Johnny Lingo’s response was very simple and to the point. “I wanted an eight-cow woman, and when I paid for her and treated her in that fashion, she began to believe that she was an eight-cow woman. She discovered what I already knew about her and that was that she was worth more than any other woman in the islands to me. And what matters most is what a woman thinks of herself.”
Husbands, how are you treating your wives today? What would she think she is worth by the attention and effort that you pour into her? Is she still as important to you as the day that you first met her and dropped everything to be with her? Does she know that?
Fathers, how about your daughters? So much of a young lady’s self-worth comes from the attention that she is or isn’t getting from her daddy. When was the last time you just poured on the compliments and verbalized what a gift your little girl really is?
Today my prayer is that the mothers, the wives, the daughters and the sisters in Cape May County will feel like a million bucks because the fathers, the husbands, the sons and the brothers of this area have affirmed them. Remember, sticks and stones may break your bones but names carry even more weight than that. Choose your words wisely! She is worth that and so much more! Let her know and you’ve got to show her today!
Write Pastor Rudy pastorrudytlc@comcast.net