Are Fathers Necessary?

I have read a couple of articles in the last year on the lack of a father in the home to raise America’s children and the consequences which frequently follow. Fortunately, I had a father who invested himself in me and my brothers and sister. It was a hard job for him, a job which frequently did not come naturally to him… but he kept at it. When I say a hard job, in particular, I am thinking of my older brother, who could not agree with my father on much of anything.
The important thing was that he was there for us, providing, investing time, correcting, and setting an example. I looked up to him. As a child, I thought he could do anything. One time a washing machine repairman was having trouble getting the machine back together after installing a part. I watched him struggle, and after a while, I told him, “My daddy will be home soon, and he can show you how to do it.” I was 6.
When I was in grade school my brothers and I had newspaper routes, and the Las Cruces Sun-News held a contest for all their carriers. They paid 10 cents for every person who signed up to start the newspaper, plus gave a $100 prize for the one who got the most; $50 for second place and $25 for third place. Dad took us boys all over town, weekend after weekend. Dad was tireless and taught us to be the same way. We won both first and second places.
At the end of each month, he’d come into my room and ask me how much I had made that month. It was always the same: $18. Then he’d suggest, “Save half of it.” I would always just say I would, but I never told him that I had saved almost the whole amount.
When I was 15 I bought an old car with an engine which burned more oil than gasoline. He helped me remove the engine, replace the piston rings, and put the car back together. When the door latch broke, he made a new one from scratch. He worked Monday through Friday, from 6 a.m. ’til 5:30 p.m. If he wasn’t working, he was available to help us.
I cannot imagine being a child without a father. Don’t get me wrong, mother was always there too; if, for example, a storm came up when we were delivering our papers, she would drive our routes until she found us. As I write this, I can picture myself as an elementary school child, on one of Las Cruces’ dirt streets, in the rain, with the wind kicking up the dirt into my hair and eyes and stinging my legs. I could hardly see but kept turning and looking to see if my mother might be coming to save me. Before long, there she was. I felt so very cherished. Of course, this rescue was on top of everything else she did daily – meals, laundry, you name it.
Raising children is an awful lot of work for two parents; imagine taking the father out of the equation and dumping it all on the mother. Jay Ambrose, writing in the Courier-Post stated that statistics indicate dramatically that children can get deprived of decent lives by absent fathers, noting, for example, 63 percent of youth suicides are from fatherless homes. He further noted that children with both married parents around are less likely to drop out of school, to become drug addicts or to grow up impoverished.
He concludes his piece by observing that fathers, as well as mothers, bring something special to the rearing of children. To turn our backs on marriage, to suppose that cohabitation is just as good, is to turn our backs on children.
As a society, we are fundamentally rethinking family life. Let’s not get it wrong. As for me, I am blessed that my parents gave it their all.