James sat next to his wife in my office. Sharon was worried.
“He’s so tense all summer that he has to nurse a headache while he is working his business,” she said. “He comes home stiff from lifting heavy furniture and grouchy from dealing with a demanding collection of short-term vacationers.
“At age 62 he should not be pushing heavy umbrellas into hard sand for hours each day. He can’t handle it and he refuses to cut back. He says we need the money to retire because we won’t make it otherwise.”
James probably wants summer sunshine more than just about anyone. Without hot, bright sunlight, his summer business is dead. James rents beach loungers and the umbrellas that go with them.
“I’ve got about eight good weeks to make the expenses and the profit of this business, and the sun only shines a few hours each day… so I figure I have about 40 hours for eight weeks,” said James. “It’s about 500 hours to make my money.
“Sharon just doesn’t get what it is like to run a weather-dependent summer business at a resort town with a short season.”
I turned to James to let him know I understood. “I get it. Many clients ask for weekend hours at the beach during the summer so they can combine it with their vacation.”
“Doc, I don’t get the big deal about stress,” said James. “Sharon reads about it and tells me it is bad for me but all of us must get through our days. Is it dangerous?”
“In a word, yes,” I replied. “I teach at the Medical School at the University of Pennsylvania and know that stress can contribute to many physical problems, like diabetes or heart disease or high blood pressure.
“You need to be very careful if you notice you get breathless when you walk fast or feel dizzy for no reason you can figure out.” I looked at him to see if he was paying attention. He looked worried.
“OK, but so what? I gotta do what I gotta do.” If I get too uptight a few beers or a steak sandwich helps.”
Sharon interrupted. “But you don’t realize that you bring that stress home and I live with it. You get irritable and yell at me. Then you get discouraged and mope around the house.
“Too much stress is no fun for anybody in the family. The kids have talked to me about it.”
James looked disgusted. “You try getting good help for a few weeks… I hired all year round, but it bust my budget, so I do most of it myself. Keeps profit better. Got a better idea?”
Sharon turned to me. “Look, I’m not here to complain. I love this man and he provides for us. How can I help him make healthier decisions in the face of all the hard work he does each summer?” She looked at her husband who sat waiting for my answer.
Research provides a number of ways to manage the stress of a short-term season of profit. They are the same ways we handle other stress:
1. Get regular physical activity. Get up and get moving, at least 30 minutes each day.
2. Keep your sense of humor. Look for the bright side of things and share your good humor with others. It helps life feel more relaxed.
3. Get together with those you love. Socialize with family and friends when you have free time. And make sure you make time for the hobbies that you love.
4. Plan ahead. Now is the time to worry about covering the crowded vacation weeks of August, especially after the college crowd leaves. How will you handle being shorthanded?
5. Ask for a backrub, do deep breathing or take a short nap. A bit of rest goes a long way.
James turned to his wife and looked apologetic. “Sorry I gave you such a hard time about getting me here. I don’t want to keel over like my Dad did at age 64. These ideas are not too hard to try to put into action.”
I turned to both. “I suggest you both try to reduce stress this summer and let me know how I can help. This is harder than it sounds but worth the effort. Check in in a few weeks and we can brainstorm how to create a healthier summer.”
To consider: How do you usually fight stress? Are you willing to pay attention to the signals? Why or why not?
To explore: https://medlineplus.gov Stress on Medline Plus. Our national library of medicine is a great place to start your journey.
ED. NOTE: Dr. Coche practices clinical psychology in Stone Harbor and Philadelphia. She invites responses through her website, www.cochecenter.com
North Cape May – Another shout out to Officer Bohn, the school resource officer at LCMR. I admire his hard work and devotion to the students and staff as I see him every morning and afternoon, snow, wind , sleet or…
