Mother’s Love Saved Her Son, Guided His Life

COURT HOUSE – Great suffering and adversity can create bitterness and pessimism in some or build a character of strength and compassion. To quote the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”
Nietzsche could very well have been speaking about John L. Radzieta, founder of Radzieta Funeral Home in Court House.
Radzieta is retired and has been succeeded by his son. Recently he sat down with the Herald and told how a coal miner’s son from Clearfield County, Pa. became the successful owner of a funeral home in Cape May County.
To look at his start in life the odds were not in his favor. He was born during the dark days of the Great Depression to poor, hard-scrabble parents.
His father was a Polish immigrant who fled a life of extreme hardship. His mother, Sophie, was American-born. He entered the world with a cleft lip and palate.
In the 1930s that was almost a death sentence. Because of this condition Sophie’s son could not nurse. The doctor gave her an eye dropper and the determined mother fed her tiny newborn drop by drop.
A well-meaning neighbor, seeing this heroic effort, told his mother “Not to worry he’ll be dead in two or three days.” 
As St. Paul reminded, “Love is patient, love is kind…” (1 Corinthians 13:4).  
Sophie willed her only son to live. He did and thrived. School days proved challenging.
Sometimes youngsters were cruel and when Radzieta was wounded by the taunts of classmates because of his facial deformity his mother counselled him, “God is who created us as we are. If we are good it is because God made us that way.”
She told him “Never laugh or make fun of people.”
His father was a coal miner and the family also had a small farm. Radzieta and his four sisters worked on it after school. “I wasn’t allowed to be lazy,” he chuckled recounting after-schools days which often extended past dark.
His first teacher taught him to write in first grade as an aid to understanding him as his speech was compromised. He excelled academically as well as at shorthand and typing. Because of those abilities the day after graduation from high school the superintendent hired him.
“I worked in the high school office for four years,” recalled Radzieta. He was then offered a job with the Secretary of Education of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania.
At one time he aspired to be a plastic surgeon to help people. Later he decided that he could perform a certain kind of ministry by becoming a funeral director. “My father opposed my going,” Radzieta said. “He said, “Dead people have dirty feet and I don’t want you doing that kind of work.”
The resolute son won him over by reminding him that Jesus washed the feet of his disciples. That did the trick; with his father’s blessing Radzieta was off to Philadelphia and Eckels College of Mortuary Science.
At that point Radzieta stopped. He stood and in a measured voice told about the two handwritten letters his father sent him after graduation. “They are written phonetically. It must have been very hard for him. I know from these letters how much he loved me and that he was proud of me. He never wanted me to have to work in the mines,” he said.
His voice trailed off remembering. Before school began Radzieta got a job in a dress factory in Bridgeton. “I was living with my sister and went to apply for a secretarial position. It was my first encounter with chauvinism,” he recounted.
The woman in charge of the office did not like men and told him as much. She sent him down to the shipping office. The beleaguered shipping manager set Radzieta to work typing 50 letters.
He finished them in a single night. The woman in charge was so impressed she set her sexism aside and hired him on the spot.
Seeing Radzieta overcome adversity after adversity he was asked what sustained him.
“My faith in God,” he quickly responded. “My mother told me God loved me and would never desert me.”
He felt this as an ever present reality and experienced the reality of his family’s love and support.
In Penn Township his family attended St. Bonaventure Roman Catholic Church where, after Mass every Sunday, he attended catechism class. It was his mother’s daily walk with God that was the greatest lesson for him. He recalled Christmas eves when the snow made travel by car impossible.
“I would walk through the snow the two miles to the church for midnight Mass holding my mother’s arm,” he said. At this point in the conversation Radzieta recalled the story of his cousin Father Ray, a Polish priest, who was imprisoned in Auschwitz concentration camp. His cell was right across from another Franciscan priest who became a Roman Catholic saint, Maximillian Kolbe.
“Fr. Ray was scheduled to be executed with two other priests, one a German. But a German guard let them go,” Radzieta said. That guard later paid for the act of compassion with his life.
After the war Father Ray immigrated to the United States and visited with Radzieta and his family. It made a profound impression.
Radzieta was 27 years old when he had his first surgery. World-renowned surgeon Dr. Robert Harding performed the life-transforming operation in Harrisburg Hospital. It was the first of 33 procedures.
When Radzieta finished mortuary school he headed for South Jersey and worked under Kenneth Matlack. It was a good experience. Matlack was a practicing Jehovah’s Witness. He gave Radzieta sage advice, “Never let religion interfere with your work relationship. And keep the empathy you have for people, John.” Eventually he became the establishment’s owner.
Cape May County not only provided Radzieta with work but also the love of his life. His wife Ann had friends who thought the two would be a perfect match and concocted a ruse to introduce them.
“I did a lot of volunteer work at Our Lady of the Angels Church and one night when her friends knew she would be there they called me and told me that the ‘candles needed to be straightened.’ So I went over,” he laughs as he recalled the meeting.
It was basically love at first sight. The two were married at St. Casimir’s Church, Woodbine. One of the many things they share in common, in addition to their heritage, was a deep devotion to the rosary (a prayer practice of the Roman Catholic Church said on beads). Since the first night of their marriage they recite the rosary together. The union produced three sons and now grandchildren who are the joy of their lives.
Radzieta’s approach to work, as everything else in his life, is informed by his relationship with God.
“We were born because of God in His image. Regardless of form or final disposition all are entitled to respectful, dignified disposition. All are in God’s image and deserve respect,” he said.
He concluded the interview recalling words of his mother, Sophie, “Always keep in mind,” she said, “people have to be treated with love, understanding and patience. And that’s the way she was with me.”
As any good son should, Radzieta listened to his mother. 
(ED. NOTE: Faith and religion are important facets in the Cape May County community. The author plans to do stories on various aspects of religion and what impact it has on those who practice it. She encourages those with ideas on subjects to email her at hmccaffrey@cmcherald.com for consideration.)