Hayes: Change Starts at the Top

OCEAN CITY – E. Marie Hayes wanted a career in law enforcement from an early age, she told a packed room at The Flanders Hotel March 6. There were plenty of doubters along the way, she said, including her mother.
“She said, ‘Honey, girls don’t become cops. Girls just don’t become cops,’” Hayes said.
A Cape May County freeholder, Hayes spent her career with the law enforcement section of the Cape May County Prosecutor’s Office. As the final speaker of this year’s Women in Business Conference, she described her road to becoming an officer, overcoming stereotypes and resistance along the way.
She also received extensive support, she told the gathering, primarily made up of women in professional positions from around the county. Her mother eventually came around, she said, helping her enroll in the criminal justice program at the then-recently opened Atlantic Cape Community College.
At that point, Hayes said, her life was not going well, at one point describing it as going down a bad path.
“My mother sat me down, and she said to me, she goes, OK, it’s time. You’ve made your mistakes. Now you’ve got to reevaluate your life,” Hayes said. Her mother promised to babysit her daughter if she pursued her dream. “My mother became one of my biggest supporters.”
The conference, sponsored by the Cape May County Chamber of Commerce, featured networking, panel discussions and talks on female leadership culminating in the lunchtime presentation.
Hayes spoke in personal terms, describing her life and career. Her talk was billed as covering women in non-traditional roles, and when she was done, she pointed to women in the audience serving in law enforcement as detectives and in other roles, as well as recognizing two women who work as captains on the Cape May-Lewes Ferry.
Early in the comments, she assured those gathered that yes, she does carry a gun.
Hayes was inspired by a family friend who was a police officer who came to her house in uniform when she was a child.
“He let me sit in the car while the radio was chattering. I’m telling you, I was mesmerized. I just loved it. I was hooked,” she said. A call came in while she was in the car and he left, with lights and sirens. “Forget it, I was hooked.”
Hayes said she grew up in a big family, playing football, climbing trees and skateboarding.
She said she made a lot of mistakes in her teen years, including a marriage that did not end well, a topic that brought up obvious emotion when she spoke at the event.
Hayes spoke highly of the community college, saying it made her what she is today.
“The professors made me feel that I was worth something. And when I wanted to give up because I didn’t know if I could do it, they would not let me give up,” she said.
While in college, she said, she met numerous excellent police officers, whom she described as generous and supportive. But there were difficulties as well. She told of her first interview with a police chief she did not name but described as a very nice man.
“I’ll never forget towards the end of the conversation, he said to me, ‘You know what? There’s no doubt in my mind one day you’re going to be a good police officer, but it’s not going to start here,’” she said. To hire a woman, he told her, he’d need a separate locker room and other facilities.
She said she remained tenacious, and that the men in her classes would not let her give up. One told her about a job opening in the Prosecutor’s Office, with colleagues and teachers helping her prepare her first resume.
She got the job and was sent to the police academy, which she described as grueling. She seemed to particularly hate running.
“We had to scale walls. I had to box. I got my ass kicked one time, and I said it’s never going to happen again,” she said.
She also described strong camaraderie. When she returned to the Prosecutor’s Office, she said, she was assigned to juveniles, by a tough, demanding prosecutor who demanded excellence.
“I loved doing juvenile work. And I think the reason that I loved doing juvenile work was but for the grace of God I could have been one of those kids,” she said.
When she began in the late 1970s, she said, there was only one other female law enforcement officer in the county. She said she was respected and well treated by her chief and by the other chiefs throughout the county. Not everything was perfect. She said men who began after her were promoted sooner.
“Truly, truly a culture is built at the top,” she said. “And if a culture is permitted, it will continue.”
She said that was part of the reason to work within the system. She asked several women officers and others to stand up at the luncheon, saying she believes she blazed a trail that other women have followed. “One of the things I truly believe, the only way change gets made is at the top. And you have to get to the top to make that change. So, ladies, that’s why it’s important to become leaders. Because that’s where change is made,” Hayes said.
Hayes retired from the Prosecutor’s Office in 2009, having worked through the ranks to the captain of detectives.
Hayes earned her associate’s degree from Atlantic Cape Community College, where she later taught criminal investigation until being elected freeholder in 2013. She holds a bachelor’s degree from Thomas Edison State University and graduated from the FBI National Academy in 1996.
To contact Bill Barlow, email bbarlow@cmcherald.com.