“There can be no real freedom without the freedom to fail.”
– Erich Fromm
Arms folded in front of her, Jana tried to remain calm in the face of a challenge from her parents and me. Joan and Ron, successful professionals who had grown up in the drug scene of the 1970s, were stuck. They agreed that her diagnosis of abuse of alcohol ought not to be ignored, but did not want to “crimp her style” or lead her into a rebellion which might lead her to drink behind their backs.
“We raised her to feel free to drink and smoke weed when we did, so what kind of message do we give her if we change our tune now?” Jana’s mom, Joan, a nurse educator, had concerns about her health if she continued to abuse alcohol: she knew that abuse is a low level diagnosis that can slide into much more serious concerns about potential alcohol addiction, and Jana’s mom had been alcoholic for much of her growing years. But it was really Jana’s father, Ron, who was most vocal in his concern about limiting his daughter’s freedom.
“We have raised her to enjoy her personal freedom and we will sound two-faced if we change that now. I am worried she will rebel and may get into even more trouble if we are too strict now. I am really not sure what to do.”
Jana had grown big each summer at the beach house, loved it, and knew all the best bars to have fun after the lifeguards left the beach. She had been through the beer parties when she was 15, the pot parties as she got a bit older, and now, at 23, considered she was adult enough to decide what she drank and when.
July 4 was typically a huge party on the beach at about 10 p.m. Although it was always possible that the police would come by, Jana and friends had become quite clever about keeping a low profile. The idea that Jana might be asked to curtail her fun over the holiday seemed hard to swallow.
“Hey Mom and Dad, you remember what this is like…you had this much freedom and you are OK now…be fair! Let me decide what I do. I am an adult. Remember?” Anger flared and she calmed herself down…she did not want to alienate these folks.
I turned to Jana. “Can you limit intake this weekend and maintain self-control? “My question was serious and I worried about her answer.
She thought for minutes. “I can limit myself to one drink in two hours and that will work.”
She looked proud of her strategy, turned to her parents and looked to them for agreement. Joan shot Ron a long glance. Ron looked relieved, turned to me and asked if I thought that was OK. I did. I wanted Jana to decide her own way to tackle the alcohol abuse rather than buckle under with seething anger.
Jana has a tricky path to follow. The National Epidemiologic Survey on Alcohol and Related Conditions sampled young adults ages 18–24: over three-quarters of young adults ages 21–24 were current drinkers, as were nearly two-thirds of those ages 18–20, despite the fact that the legal drinking age is 21.
More than half of young adult men and 40 percent of the women exceeded the recommended daily drinking limit. Because drinking more than the recommended per-occasion maximum is likely to impair mental and physical performance, the increase over the past decade in the prevalence among young adults of drinking five or more drinks 12 or more times per year is related to increased risk of injury for adults 18–24.
In summary, drinkers in the United States tend to have the highest level of alcohol consumption in their late teens and early twenties binge drinking (i.e., consuming five or more drinks in a row at least once in the past month) and heavy drinking (i.e., consuming five-plus drinks in a row on at least five occasions in the past month) are highest among young adults ages 18 to 25, peaking at age 21.
Jana may have to shift her friendships to shift her drinking patterns. But if, in the taking control of her drinking she can also find her future life direction, this time will be key. To do this alone, without adult force, helps establish her as a competent adult.
To Consider: Which young adults do you know who might benefit from taking their own control of their alcohol and drug use? How can parents and professionals help them do this without surrounding their hard earned freedom to choose their own future?
To Read: Paul Tillich. “The Courage to Be. . Second Edition” New Haven, Yale University, 2000 (1st ed. 1952).
Dr. Judith Coche works with substance concerns among adolescents and adults. Find her at www.cochecenter.com. She is director of The Coche Center, LLC, a practice in clinical psychology in Stone Harbor and Rittenhouse Square, Philadelphia.
Court House – 10% to 27% of non citizens are illegally registered to vote and it is projected that 5% to 13% of them will illegally vote in Nov – it is not legal for non-citizens to vote in elections – do you hear…
