It is sometimes difficult to contemplate time for me when I see a number such as this. Neil and I have been married 47 years. Our anniversary is this month. I couldn’t imagine living for 47 years when I was a teen, as it seemed so very old, and now I’ve been Neil’s wife for that long. It has been an amazing journey with steep hills and valleys; through our growth in faith in God and through seeking His will instead of our own, those hills and valleys are flattening out.
Oh, I was so naïve when I got married. I knew all would be well with the world and our home would be just like those of the wonderful families I saw on TV. I found marriage wasn’t always quite as rosy as portrayed on “Leave It to Beaver,” and it also took a lot more work than I often wanted to put forth, as I am no June Cleaver.
More than a few things got in the way of “happily ever after.” Certainly one was going about marriage in our own willful ways. Thankfully we eventually recognized that if God was not in the forefront of our daily walk and in full control of our lives – we were generally out of control. It is so easy to believe that we are in charge, and each of us felt that way back and forth in the early years. It has taken job changes, location changes, and especially spiritual changes to get us where we are today – more often on the flattened section of the hills and valleys.
Throughout our marriage Neil and I discovered there is much giving and taking, joining and bending that we learned and accomplished as the years moved higher in number. Thankfully God is our true and faithful guide, and when our humanity overwhelms us we seek our Maker.
Neil and I always prayed, but we prayed separately. That was something we cured later in our marriage when truly it would have benefited us most to have prayed together in the early years. Much is learned in joining in prayer between two hearts and God. I would advise this to all young couples, as there is such wonderful benefit derived from seeking God’s will together.
One other thing changed us and our faith in an amazing way. Being newly married and living paycheck to paycheck we were challenged by a sermon asking us (as God did of His people in Malachi 3:10) to give God 10% of our income. This giving in Malachi was a test to see if God would bless the gift. With much trepidation we gave this a chance, and for two weeks we turned our checkbook over to God. We have never needed to renege on our two-week original pledge and indeed have been blessed so much as to have more than enough to share.
I can honestly say because we trusted God with our money, and in our hearts acknowledged that it was His and we were only temporary holders of it, He has bless us beyond anything we could have imagined. From our meager gift of trust God has blessed us to live in Ocean City.
The full verse in Malachi reads, “Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it.” This is truth.
One of the hardest lessons God taught me is to love and forgive the way He loves and forgives. This is possible only with God’s hand directing my heart.
While some lessons have been long and repeated, others we learned quickly. The most important lesson has been growth of our faith in God, which has led us to yet another anniversary together. We are much less naïve now but much more content with the outcome of our marriage. Our goal is focusing first on God, secondly on each other, and lastly on ourselves. This goal is not reached every day, but we acknowledge that and start new every morning with the same aim. It is a good pattern that He has taught us, and we are striving to keep to it.
The lessons we learned of loving and forgiving as God does, praying with each other, and trusting God with all that He has given us are worthwhile aspirations whether young or old, married or single. Here is advice from some old married folks – allow God to be the very first love your lives, and you will never regret it. Happy Anniversary, Neil!
Editor’s note: Amy Patsch writes from Ocean City. Email her at writerGoodGod@gmail.com.
