To the Editor
As a youngster, I never missed reading satirist Al Capp’s comic strip “Li’l Abner” which appeared daily in the Philadelphia Bulletin.
Readers may remember the 1956 Broadway musical of the same name. Now, as I watch the blow-dried and blowhard leftwing Democrats in Congress posturing against giving our troops more time to defeat al Qaeda in Iraq, several of Capp’s characters come to mind.
The first is Jubilation T. Cornpone whose statue was prominently displayed in the town square of Capp’s mythical “Dogpatch.” Cornpone, a Civil War general, was famous for distinguishing himself in three battles: Cornpone’s Retreat, Cornpone’s Disaster and Cornpone’s Rout.
In the musical, Stubby Kaye, who portrayed Cornpone, sings the famous song, “When we fought the Yankees and annihilation was near, who was there to lead the charge that took us to the rear? Why, it was old Jubilation T. Cornpone, old toot-your-own-horn pone. Jubilation T. Cornpone, a man who knew no fear.”
One politician best fills Cornpone’s role: Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid who declared in April that “the war is lost.” That statement came as a surprise to our troops who had begun to establish some stability in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Reid then attempted to pass several bills to cut off funding for the troops and establish a date certain when America would retreat. This Cornpone-ism failed miserably.
Sadie Hawkins, “the homeliest gal in the hills” and the daughter of its most prominent citizen, grew tired of the men to come “a courting.” So, Pa invented Sadie Hawkins Day, an annual footrace event in which a bachelor caught by a single girl had to marry her.
Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi is the model for Sadie. Unable to get her Democratic majority in the House to pass promised legislation (no Republicans are “a’courtin”) she and Reid have managed to lower public confidence in Congress to 11 percent.
Sen. Jack S. Phogbound, a parody of the filibustering southern politician, was potbellied and had a penchant for political pork. He was a conspiratorial blowhard that often wore a coonskin cap and carried a muzzle-loading rifle to impress his constituents. When he could not find the time to campaign in Dogpatch, he sent staffers there with a rubber gas-bag caricature that looked like him.
My nominee for Phogbound’s role is 90-year old Sen. Robert Byrd who has managed to hang on to his senate seat since 1958 and has never met a pork bill from which he could not wring several million dollars for his constituents in West Virginia.
A parallel for Lil’l Abner and his wife Daisy Mae would be Bill and Hillary Clinton. The chief competitors for Abner’s attention was Stupefyin’ Jones and Moonbeam McSwine. In reality, Paula Jones, Jennifer Flowers and Monica Lewinsky might represent those characters.
Daisy Mae forgave Li’l Abner for any transgression and had “…a willing suspension of disbelief” for his dalliances. Which is what Hillary said was required to accept Gen. Petraeus’ testimony to Congress.
This Commander-In-Chief-Wannabe believes our military leaders are liars, but wants us to forget it was her husband who lied to her and committed perjury before a grand jury. Her failure to censure the MoveOn.Org “General Betray Us” ad should disqualify her from consideration as a presidential candidate.
Capp’s Dogpatch was a parody of Washington. But Reid, Pelosi, Byrd and Clinton have reduced themselves to cartoon characters in their passion to recapture the White House. And this time it’s not funny.
GERALD F. STAHLECKER
Seaville
