Who’ll Sing ‘Kumbaya’ ‘Round the Campfire?

A secretive, post-election camping trip to Belleplain State Forest is planned by a half-dozen rugged, well-known outdoor types whose names are recognizable to households throughout the First Legislative District. The Herald learned, by way of a nefarious chipmunk, of that cloistered session, ensconced amongst the pines and oaks of that desolate tract of Garden State turf where deer, chiggers and stargazers go to find serenity.
The jovial crew of pol pals have been preoccupied of late slinging mud at each other, so they’re also probably packing a couple of extra bars of Lava soap and some scrub brushes.
To save precious timber, the woodland gang plans to tote their campaign signs and all those obnoxious slick mailing pieces that didn’t get recycled, and burn them as they toast marshmallows, tell ghost stories and make S’Mores, getting to know each other as just good old ordinary folks.
Lest they shiver in evening’s chill (it does get rather frosty in November, especially out in the Belleplain pines) the six will, no doubt, load their backpacks with warm, dry clothes, stashing away copious amounts of chigger-bite lotion and jumbo tubes of Greaseless BENGAY® Pain Relieving Cream. (Do you know how hard ground gets even with one of those foam mattresses?)
I have it on pretty good information that each of those soon-to-be campers has been overheard rehearsing “Kumbaya” (“Come By Here”) in the shower every morning so as not to be outdone by the other team.
Remember, outward bound into the wild of the woods there will be three winners (happy, I guess, at the prospect of spending time in Trenton under the golden dome), and three losers (or should I describe them as, “more fortunate ordinary citizens?”)
Both teams are also penning the words to “Happy Days Are Here Again” inside their ballcaps, just to shove one last “take that” to their former opponents on the last night of their outing.
Least I lapse and fail to inform you, this is not to be just another boring trip into the woods by a gang of deer slayers or environmentalists, these two teams are none other than the trios from each party vying for votes in the Nov. 8 election.
On one side of the dirt path entering the dark forest, lugging canteens and camp stove, will be Democrats Jeff Van Drew, Nelson Albano and Matthew Milam.
On the other side, keeping an eye out for squirrels, reporters and wild turkeys, just this side of reddening leaves of poison ivy vines are Republicans David DeWeese, Suzanne Walters and Samuel Fiocchi, trying to adjust to the weight of tents and a new-fangled electronic compass
No campaign managers, advisers, or other hirelings there, just one gal and five guys as they make their way into the abyss of Dennis Township for some soul searching and serenity under the stars. No mirrors are to be packed on this earthy trip, no makeup or shaving is expected or allowed.
There’s no need for pretty faces any longer. It is what it is, they are who they are.
No one was really in charge of selecting the campfire songs they’ll sing on this field-leveling timberland trek, but it only seemed logical that they’d respond well to “Kumbaya” that African-American spiritual song from the 1930s.
According to the Internet’s instant encyclopedia Wikipedia that tune, known to just about anybody who ever donned a scout uniform or warmed themselves over a heap of burning logs, “Enjoyed newfound popularity during the folk revival of the 1960s and became a standard campfire song in Scouting and nature-oriented organizations.
“The song was originally associated with human and spiritual unity, closeness and compassion, and it still is in many places around the world, though in recent decades it has also been popularly used as a symbol for naïve expectations of said outcomes.
That part about unity, closeness and compassion may be the crux of the whole camping trip for the six. With the election at their backs, like civilization will be, maybe it will dawn on the three victors that their new-found success will, indeed, be shallow if they don’t do their darnedest to unite us, make us realize we are all in the same “canoe” and have compassion on the guys they beat and the public that had to listen to it all since, goodness knows, right after the June primary election?
To be sure, it’ll be a curious cluster of humanity heading into the dark forest. Who’ll lead the adventurers to camp? I wonder.
Will it be DeWeese, the lawyer, retired municipal court judge and athletic coach?
Or will it be VanDrew, the senator-dentist, former freeholder and mayor?
Or, perhaps, the politically-correct gentlemen and “loyal opposition” will defer to Madam Mayor Walters, and let the lady select the right trail to follow. I wonder who’ll be whistling “Kumbaya” if that happens?
To make this truly a fun time together, and to make the woodsy owls scratch their wizened noodles, one would hope our pol pals would march, single-file, and alternating party members. If VanDrew leads, follow with an R. If DeWeese or Walters carries the banner, follow with a D. You get the picture, this will afford a truly jocular natural encounter
Imagine the hike is over for the day, it’s getting chilly as sun sets. Our six woodland warriors are weary, their feet hurt from walking farther than they did campaigning.
Milam and Fiocchi grab a handful of campaign signs to burn while Van Drew and DeWeese gather sticks to toast their marshmallows. Walters and Albano start to unwrap chocolate bars and graham crackers for the S’Mores.
Away from the rhetoric and pettiness that makes politics the thing most people loathe, our six campers would realize all the money spent to get their nameplates on a desk in Trenton was really nothing compared to what’s really important.
After a few rounds of “Kumbaya” the coarseness of the campaign will abate, and we’ll all be the better for the bucolic encounter.