“Grammy, can we go to the beach this weekend?” I mean, can we really go to the beach and play in the sand?” Six-year-old Sara’s high voice vibrated with enthusiasm as she remembered what she has deemed “my favorite place.” I smiled inside as I remembered her mom, daughter Juliette, asking the same kinds of questions about Stone Harbor when she was a young girl. When life is good, I have decided that it is wise to keep the good going generation after generation.
Sara’s exuberance is simply unforgettable. A photo of her at three, being thrown into the air at sunset by her daddy, is one of my favorite visual images: her love of life, her delight in flying in the air is evident. Now, at 6, sharp intellect has augmented her delicious take on life. “Of course, Sara. There will be lots of time to go to the beach this weekend. We can build a sand castle and maybe even go into the water.”
Sara was with the program! “Then I better bring a bathing suit, Grammy.” But one important detail remained. “Grammy, can we sleep on our new fuzzy sleeping bags you bought for our new white bunk beds in our room?” Last fall I had purchased adorable puppy sleeping bags that are soft to the touch, and Sara had not seen hers yet. And I just bought Nutella for warm toast and kites for beach runs.
“The fuzzy white puppy sleeping bags are waiting for you, with a few surprises I collected for you and Ava.” Many of us islanders know how to create a happy summer for those we love. I have planted French lavender to create the perfume of summer and have stocked our freezer with barbecue fixings and the makings of steamed shrimp and crab cakes. Summer needs to be delicious!
Did you ever consider that, with the right road map for living, it is possible to live your best life under all circumstances? Permanent well-being creates a foundation for interpersonal vibrancy and for resiliency against inevitable danger. To get you ready for a happier life, we offer you well-researched tools to create your individualized ‘Happiness Map!’
Erik Ericson talks about the eight stages of all people in his classic post-World War II chapter on the best in human living. Despite tons of work since then, nobody has said it better. Sound simple? It is not as hard as you might think. In the tiny book I wrote called Your Best Life, based on earlier columns for The Herald, I begin to give readers a taste of how others live their best lives. You can get this book in paper or on kindle at http://www.amazon.com/Your-Best-Life-Pathways-Happiness/dp/0615976530.
We learn from research that there are five qualities necessary for a sense of permanent well-being:
a. Positivity: Happy people find a positive outlook part of their daily approach to living. Their glass looks half full and they actually seek and find good times in each day.
b. Engagement: Happy people engage with others easily, spontaneously, and warmly. They sense that the human species cannot survive without a deep commitment to others they love. They love deeply and let others know of their love.
c. Positive Relationships: A variety of pleasant and frequent interchanges with others make up the days of happy people. Through personal contact, email, text, and phone, they reach out to others to brighten their mutual world.
d. Meaning: Happy people seek activities that provide them with substance and meaning. They become experts in things they enjoy. They reap benefits from their activities and look forward to their work and their free time.
e. Achievement: Happy people find it great fun to set a goal and meet it. Sometimes the goal is as small as finding and planting just the right rose bush. Sometimes the goal is complex and challenging. But it is fun to look at the rose bush and envision flowers all summer and remember that planting that bush created day after day of pleasure for all who walk by it.
I wish you the happiest summer 2016! I invite you to stay tuned for more columns on Sara and our spectacular islands. We plan to teach you what research tells us about happy coupling and positive living. It is truly the best way to live!
To Consider: Have you ever thought of how many of the PERMA categories fill your life? How much happier might you be if you set out to integrate positivity, engagement, positive relationships, meaning and achievement into your days? Is it too late? Never!
To Read: Coche, J. Your Best Life. Optimal Life Press, 2014. Find it on Amazon (http://www.amazon.com/Your-Best-Life-Pathways-Happiness/dp/0615976530)
Find Dr. Judith Coche helping clients live their best lives at The Coche Center, LLC in Rittenhouse Square and in Stone Harbor. Reach her through www.cochecenter.com.
Villas – Look what happened on Jan 6 th with Trump, I do not blame’ Michelle Obama for not coming! You cannot trust his allies for it to be a calm day, for her safety she is safer at home.
