“Women are the largest untapped reservoir of talent in the world.”
– Hillary Clinton
On the eve of the nomination of Hillary Clinton as the first woman to run for president of the United States, I got to thinking about the tremendous strengths both men and women show as they modestly go about their lives, leading families, corporations, communities, and nations. But, historically, men were first to be highlighted for global leadership capacity while women have long been recognized for caretaking. Why?
Edie Berg, the hostess of the Strong Women’s Club, offers resources for women who seek like-minded support and knowledge. Edie and I formed an immediate connection around our mutual interest in helping women reach the life meaning that they were meant to enjoy.
Edie told me of the virtual women’s’ discussion groups she holds and invited me to do a podcast. She especially wanted to discuss how women thrive in groups. As she knows, a group provides accountability partners who empower each other to be stronger.
I used the example of the strong women who are in our psychotherapy group for females and began by telling her about Adrienne and Kerra. “We just had our last monthly meeting,” I began. “Adrienne and Kerra have each made huge changes and are ready to move out on their own. Our global hesitancy to be slow to recognize the vast resources of women has created a need for support if women are to join men in global leadership.”
With the counsel of her treasured women’s psychotherapy group, Adrienne has recently evolved an international presence in her chosen career as an economist.
The group helped her to gain the confidence to allow her natural intelligence to move her into leadership positions. Tears glistened as she recalled the place of the group in her life.
“I looked forward to the group every month. As I drove the hour it takes to get to the office, I would think about what I wanted to talk about but, even more, I cherish my group buddies. They were always honest with me, even when they said things that were hard to hear. Although I will miss this group deeply, they will remain with me in spirit. I feel terrific!”
Kerra, stately in her business suit and mid-high heels, agreed wholeheartedly. Kerra dresses for success in her role as a tenured professor. “This group has been instrumental in sorting out how important my marriage is. I got lost in being unable to say “No!” to academia when needed.”
She looked impishly at the members seated in a circle around her. “You ladies have been a hall of mirrors for me, reflecting my inadvertent carelessness toward my husband in my quest for success. I can never forget what I have learned here.”
What makes women psychologically as strong as they are?
While men have always been recognized for their capacity for decision making, logic, power and social skills, women have taken longer to achieve global recognition.
Men seem to excel at logical thinking while women combine and integrate analysis and intuitive thinking. This ability to be cognitively flexible enables women to lead both in task completion and in emotional sensitivity.
Professor Ragini Verna from the University of Pennsylvania has researched nearly 1,000 women and suggests that women grasp intuitively how to do mothering, caretaking, and coupling because they score higher on tests measuring empathy and emotional intelligence.
If Mrs. Clinton becomes President Clinton, what can we expect her to model as traits of strong men and women everywhere? Might she model these five universal traits of strong people?
a. She stays true to herself. She knows who she is and works at being this person.
b. She stands up for herself. She respects herself enough, to be honest
c. She creates a positive environment. She brings fun and love into her life for those around her.
d. She challenges herself. She has power from within and knows she owes it to herself to be her best advocate.
e. She learns from other strong individuals and carries them with her.
As I thanked Edie Berg for the chance to think about what makes a woman strong, I thought of the women who have been clients for the last three decades.
Like Adrienne and Kerra, many have waged personal battles to become publically stronger for themselves and those they cherish. I join Hillary Clinton and Edie Berg in saluting our strong women and in fostering strong futures for all men and all women. Do you?
To consider: Whom are the strongest men and women you know? Do they have the traits listed above? Do you want to be more like them? Why? Why not?
To explore: The StrongWomens Club. www.strongwomensclub.com
Find Dr. Judith Coche helping women of all ages discover the strength they possess to live their best lives at The Coche Center, a Practice in Clinical Psychology in Stone Harbor and at Rittenhouse Square, Philadelphia. Reach her through www.cochecenter.com.
