None is Easier Than Some: Curbing Alcohol Intake

Nancy came into my office and placed the box of Kleenex on her lap as she began to weep. I had no clue what was wrong, so I watched the Kleenex get soaked, watched her reach for more, and waited.
“I am so ashamed of myself. Four years ago, I told you I would cut back on wine after dinner and I have not been honest with me or with you. I can drink a bottle of chardonnay after dinner and have done that most nights each week for the last two years.
“My mother was an alcoholic. My father was an alcoholic, though he stopped before he died. And, I was in danger. You told me over and over that none is easier than some, and I could not do it. I could not stop, so I cut back, but it didn’t work. 
“You are right. For me, none is easier than some. So, I stopped. I just stopped five days ago. I was afraid to tell you, but I can tell I mean it.”
She looked up from her lap that was wet from tissues and held my gaze. “I’m done.”
One month later, Nancy reported that she had lost five pounds since she cut the dangerous fermented sugar in alcohol from her daily routine. She was jubilant.
That was four months ago. She has not drunk alcohol since she finally acknowledged that. For her, none is easier than some.
On June 27, the Herald published the first of two columns directed to all of those who drink more than they or those they love think wise. All of us need to control unhealthy habits, and this is tough because alcohol is addictive.
In the last column, I outlined a way of thinking about addictive substances like beer, wine and sugar-filled treats. That approach is to decide that none of the substance is easier than some and to stop.
Stop drinking wine. Stop drinking beer. Stop buying candy snacks. Just stop. For many, this is simply unthinkable, so this week we look at four steps that the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) suggests either to stop entirely or to cut back.
Here are 10 guidelines from them with notes from my decades of clinical experience helping people stop drinking:       
1.    Commit to your plan in a letter to yourself. Note advantages to cutting down or stopping. You will feel proud, your family will be relieved, you will wake up less during the night, you can think straight. Place the letter where you cannot overlook it and read it daily.
2.    Name your date and amount. If you plan to stop, set your date and tell others. If you plan to reduce, follow guidelines of one or less standard drinks per day for those over 65 and older, and two standard drinks per day for men under 65. Check with your physician if unsure.
3.    For three to four weeks, track amount, content of drink, place and mood. If not meeting your goal, turn for help to an addiction professional who can treat you.
4.    Empty the cupboards. Make it harder to obtain what you don’t want to use. 
5.    Sip and schedule your drinks. Add thinners. Alternate alcohol with other drinks. Have a drink with water or juice after an alcoholic drink.
6.    Commit to alcohol-free days and keep your commitment. Notice if you feel better and promise to do this more frequently. Reward yourself with small gifts to yourself if you hold your promise to yourself. You deserve it!
7.    Push back against friends who tease you. If needed, stay away from temptation and mingle with those who respect your choices. Ask responsible friends and family for support and thank them when they praise you.
8.    Use your self-control to have more fun. Be proud of yourself as you create more time and sharper concentration to live more life in other ways.  Create great alternatives to drinking, like boating, gardening, reading, etc.
9.    Guard against temptation and monitor your feelings. When you’re worried, lonely or angry, you may be tempted to reach for a drink. Learn and practice healthy ways to manage unhappiness and stress in your life.
10.    Be persistent. This is hard to do. If you slide backward, start over.   After a while, if you stop entirely, you will not miss alcohol.
To consider: If you want to know how Nancy feels, she is very proud of her fine self-care. Her husband is proud of her. Her friends are proud of her.  She is more vibrant and quick-witted than when she was groggy part of each day. “None is easier than some” is a game changer.  How about changing your game? You’ll be glad if you do. I promise.
To explore: The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA). Useful information and good support for you and those you love. https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/alcohol-health
 
Find Dr. Judith Coche helping families stop and cut back on sugar and dangerous substances at The Coche Center, LLC in Stone Harbor and at Rittenhouse Square in Philadelphia. Reach her through www.cochecenter.com.