Mandy Muddles Through Flood: Handling Natural Disasters

Breathing a huge sigh of relief on day three of the October flood, I climbed in the car with husband John. Across from Wetlands Institute my eye caught a sailboat sailing peacefully in the wetlands. What? A sailboat in the shallows of the wetlands sailing unmanned in the fall sunlight? 
Looking closer, the beautiful boat was literally stuck in the mud, a victim of the flood damage. Who had lost this beautiful boat and how would it be freed from its muddy prison? 
For the third time in as many years, Stone Harbor was literally knee deep in water on some blocks. The Wetlands Institute had water up to its backyard, as the storm submerged the tall marsh grasses and inundated the turtle eggs lovingly protected by black wire nets.
But the most poignant story of the flood is the story of Mandy, 68, an admirable wife and caretaker for husband Jim, 78.
Mandy moved full time to Stone Harbor when she retired from her brilliant career in sales. She loves it here, though her husband, Jim, has suffered a stroke that leaves her the primary caretaker every hour of every day of her life.
Detail oriented, efficient, positive and capable, Mandy has shouldered this challenge with her customary loving and positive spirit.  “I have loved him for decades. Full-time caretaking is better than the alternative, his death, so of course I am glad to do it. But during the flooding this week, I was worried that he might run out of meds so there was no choice save that I drive in the mess that was outside.  
“The wind could easily have taken me into the marshlands on the way to the pharmacy. That memory stayed with me long after I returned. What if I had swerved and gotten stuck in the flooded area? What would Jim have done without me? It ended OK but I still think about it!  A natural disaster is much harder when someone is sick and unable to survive independently. I’ll never forget that errand, I could have been killed.”
The National Library of Medicine has addressed the worry caretakers have during a natural disaster. The professionals who help victims of natural disasters must deal with the impact of the sights, smells, dangers and fears of long-term caretaking. Even though they are prepared, in their daily work as spouses, policemen, firefighters, ambulance drivers etc., to come in contact with painful experiences, nobody is prepared or immune to long-term stress from fatigue, intense dedication to the task, and reluctance to be relieved from duty.
Experts who have worked with survivors of disasters agree that reactions fall into an almost predictable sequence. The initial shock, then a stunning sense of astonishment and terror, is followed by euphoria at having survived, but offset by the reality and depression of dealing with the aftermath. 
“’There are six typical initial responses: fear, numbness and shock, confusion and difficulty in making decisions, desire for information, seeking help for oneself and family, and helpfulness to others. Delayed responses, which can surface months later, include, changes in appetite, headaches, inability to sleep, anger, suspicion, apathy, depression, withdrawal from family and friends, disillusionment with official help, and guilt at not having been able to prevent or avoid the emergency. We usually expect things to begin to settle down after six months.” 
A marriage can be tightened or eroded by a disaster. As Mandy did, some marriages actually strengthen from the challenges of the disaster in a life with other serious concerns. Mandy and Jim are able to comfort each other. Their marriage has endured despite stress. 
But when we add the natural disaster impact on an already tricky situation, the concern over Mandy’s well-being increases. Mandy is wise to seek help for her own care so that she can continue to care brilliantly for Jim. Either is only as strong as the other.
Mandy and I will continue to discuss her best options. If we are fortunate, there will not be another flood this year.
Please join me in congratulating those who are helping flood victims up and down the East Coast. We are fortunate to have volunteers and experts who care and are able to help.
To consider: How might you take best care of yourself if you had to care for a disabled person in a natural disaster?  What might you learn from this experience?
To explore: This National Library of Medicine site contains an overview on the dynamics of the stress involved in handling natural disasters. It is short, easy to read, and very helpful in the aftermath of a natural disaster.  (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1489840/ 
Dr. Judith Coche lives and works in Cape May County, where she works with clients at The Coche Center, LLC, in Rittenhouse Square and Stone Harbor.  Find her at www.cochecenter.com