Catherine Bateson, coined the term “Second Adulthood,” to capture ages 55 to 80. This is a time when advances in health allow physical and intellectual flourishing and create time to develop less used parts of the self. We have achieved “Active Wisdom,” and are healthy and active. These can be some of the happiest years of our lives. Because Cape May County has many citizens enjoying a Second Adulthood, I am writing a five column series on how to max life after 55. Anna’s story tells the tale.
At 68, Anna looks to be about 55. Blue eyes grace her narrow, intelligent face and her short blond hair is often wind tousled from working out. She has slowly cut back on a career as an executive coach, and is successfully married to Chad. They enjoy their Ocean City home all summer.
Three years ago Anna began Pilates training. Although her private lessons were so costly that Chad wondered if she were “getting her money’s worth.” Anna is certain that her training prevents typical age-related stiffness and pain. “I am more supple than my friends,” she says.
She searched for and found a used “Reformer,” the Pilates equipment that is similar to a universal gym. Anna often “goes for a ride” in the morning, stretching and strengthening key muscle groups in legs, arms, and core pelvic area. The learning has been hard: time after time she was tempted to give up, telling herself that she was “too old for this stuff.” But Anna said that she keeps plugging because “I feel joyful that I can do this work. My new Pilates expertise keeps my body alive.”
Because her dedication was evident to her trainer, she invited Anna into a small class for Pilates instructors. Anna, who still thought of herself as a beginner, was buffaloed at first: the other class participants were less than half her age, and were already Pilates instructors. But, with a bit of encouragement, she took her pride in her hands and tried a few classes. Much to her delight, she could keep up with half the activities.
“We do this thing called Short Spine, where you are supposed to rise up on your shoulders with your legs perpendicular to your waist, and then swing your legs down and away from your body till they are flat again on the reformer. It requires more coordination than I have, and it scares me. I was tempted to pack it in, but the trainer took my legs and helped me get into the vertical stance, and then use my pelvic strength to swing my legs gently till they actually landed on the machine. I am still really clumsy but I intend to keep this up till I get it. I am so proud! I am like the little engine that could: I think I can, and, I can!”
I wondered aloud what seemed so crucial to Anna about mastering Pilates. She had led an accomplished life so why start again? Anna had a ready answer: “I am competent in many life areas but had to let my own body work go in order to build my coaching career and I worried that my body would begin to give out on me, like it does so often in the 60s.
I actually feel prouder of being able to take this class and work on the Short Spine than I did when my company was named for excellence in 2010. I am using a part of myself that laid dormant for too long. I love this work not only because it feels terrific, but also for the pure thrill of the achievement. To be able to reinvest in my body in my mid 60s has been thrilling. The second wind that Pilates has given me is one of the greatest gifts in the last 20 years of my life.
When I coach, I recommend that execs find their passion, pull it out of storage, and that is what this idea of Second Adulthood has been like for me!”
As I heard Anna speak candidly about the thrill in her new found love of taking care of her body, I thought of those I work with, who refuse to do needed self-care, and wished that they could hear Anna’s story. And perhaps, through this column, they can.
To consider: Which areas of your life might be lying dormant? Which areas of achievement might enrich your life? How might that be advantageous for you?
To read: Mary Catherine Bateson. Composing a Further Life: the Age of Active Wisdom. Random House, 2010.
Cape May – Governor Murphy says he doesn't know anything about the drones and doesn't know what they are doing but he does know that they are not dangerous. Does anyone feel better now?
