A Word from Abbie

I am the proud daddy of four wonderful children and pop-pop to presently four, but soon to be six grandchildren.
My oldest son, Rudy, pastors a church in Ebensburg, Pa. My daughter, Leah, is a teacher in Dennis Township.
My youngest daughter, Abbie, is the worship director at The Lighthouse Church. My youngest son, Joel, is a junior at Cape May Tech. My children have unique talents and God-given abilities.
Leah celebrated her 32nd birthday Jan. 28. She is expecting twins in the spring, and as a kindergarten teacher, there is no one better.
I want to share with you something that Abbie wrote recently. She, like her father, has a way with words. I hope you enjoy this blessing.
Abbie writes, “Every year, for the past decade, has been marked by a word. December would roll by, leading us into the ‘start’ of a new year, a new day and a new word. With each word came a prayer and hope of what the Lord might mold or shape.
“Many words like hope, simplicity, steadfast, bold, expectancy and cultivate. This year, I got nothing – no word, revelation, feeling or pull toward a certain phrase. Nothing was popping off the dictionary’s pages.
“There were moments, in early January, that I saw “Word of the Year” posts, where I grew frustrated and even fought feelings of failure. My plan-ahead anxious mind went down rabbit trails.
“How do you move forward if you don’t have a clear vision? Can you march faithfully onward without a word shaping the forefront? Maybe, it’s not a word this year.
“I penned these words four years ago – ‘I want more than anything to be able to share a testimony of the changes in my life, so more people can know freedom and come to know Jesus.
“The pain, yet freedom, steps backward, yet triumph leaps forward -that followed in the year and years to follow those words. I believe they are only a glimpse of what will come and of how He will continue to bring those words to fruition.
“Before penning those words, I wrote this paragraph – ‘You know how I’ve lived one way for what seems like a million years, and some days, it feels like a huge chore for me to even put my feet on the ground and get out of bed. On those days, it’s easy for me to get wrapped up in how I’m feeling because it’s not how I want to be feeling. Well, today was one of those days.’
“‘I kept trying work my way out of it this morning, and I struggled a lot to get moving. I struggled to stay focused during devotions, to stay focused at the gym or to even want to do anything. I went for a walk outside anyway, and I was trying to figure out how to not beat myself up because of how unmotivated I was.
“‘It hit me that maybe these days aren’t the worst because maybe on days like, this instead of focusing on feeling defeated by my feelings (which the enemy would love), I can feel strengthened by my Jesus. Because it’s days like this that we can be extra thankful that His love is unconditional. Without days like this, I wouldn’t know the sweetness of His grace or the peace of surrendering.
“‘Though I want to cry about everything, I can still say today has a purpose. I need to give myself the freedom to feel, instead of automatically attacking myself, and give the Lord control. Then, I can be assured that it actually is going to be okay.
“‘It’s not my job to try to fix everything ‘wrong’ with me.’”
“I wish I could go back to that girl, the same way that I know I’ll want to come back to who I am today and share the reminder that it actually will be okay. If and when Jesus is first, at the end of the day, the story is still the same.
“To know freedom is to know Jesus. To know peace is to know Jesus. To know the sweetness of grace is to know Jesus.
“To wake up to new mercy is to wake up to Jesus. To know strength in weakness is to know Jesus. To know gentleness during an anxiety attack is to know Jesus.
“To know motivation to get up and go, and move when depression weighs on your chest, is to know Jesus. To know purpose is to know Jesus.
“He is the author and perfecter woven into history. From the beginning, it was Jesus. For always, it will be Jesus.
“If I have any hope or word for this year, it’s Him. My word is a name, and it’s Jesus.”
ED. NOTE: The author is the senior pastor of The Lighthouse Church, 1248 Route 9 South, Court House.