I am sharing my story because I have personally experienced the transformative power of Christ in my life. His love and grace have carried me through trials, heartaches and questions, shaping me into who I am today. I hope that by telling my journey, others may see how His power can work in their lives, too.

Baptism has always been a meaningful tradition in my family – an act of setting apart a child, of devoting a child to God. It signified to the community that this child would be brought up under the teachings and beliefs of Scripture. I remember my own baptism as a baby, a moment captured in a cherished photograph where I sat on my grandmother’s lap. Grandma was a true God-fearing, humble woman who I have no doubt prayed often for me.

This picture of happiness, however, was one of few exceptions in my life. The years that followed this smiling band of children came with heartbreaks and family discord, and a routine of dysfunction that permanently left scars on my siblings and me. By the age of 10, I had already seen a lifetime of family feuds, poverty and the abandonment of my father, who tragically took his own life.

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I am sharing my story because I have personally experienced the transformative power of Christ in my life, a power that has lifted me from the depths of despair, brought clarity to my chaos, and turned rejection into a testimony of everlasting love.

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Growing up in a blended family with my four siblings, a stepfather and two step-siblings, our household of nine was marked by constant tension and strife. Rejection and sadness were commonplace under our roof. Following one of those family feuds, around the age of 10 and a half or 11, I found myself desperate for someone to love me, to make me feel wanted.

In my despair, I took out my Bible and randomly opened to the book of Romans. That day, through my tears and tissues, Jesus met me. The Holy Spirit opened my young heart to understand just enough of Romans to realize that even though I was experiencing rejection and abandonment, I could experience an everlasting love through Jesus. No matter how sinful I felt or how much of a “bad girl” I thought I was, He was waiting for me to turn to Him.

Romans 5:8 says, “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” That verse spoke directly to my heart. It reminded me that even when I wasn’t the “good girl” I wanted to be, Christ died for me. I knew enough at that age to give my heart to Jesus. He gave me peace, hope and joy despite my circumstances and the trials I would face in the years to come.

Since childhood, my relationship with Jesus has grown, deepened and flourished a thousand times over. I delight in sharing Jesus and His Word with others. I love facilitating groups to learn biblical truths. Over the years, I’ve witnessed miracles and blessings that leave me breathless with awe and rejoicing.

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Through family struggles, heart-wrenching loss, and questions that lingered for years, I’ve seen Jesus reshape my life with His grace, proving that His love is steadfast and His promises are unshakable.

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So why baptism now, after all these years? Baptism was never on my radar until a few months ago. I don’t remember the exact moment or the Scripture I was studying, but the Holy Spirit made it clear to me that there were areas of my life and thinking that needed to be surrendered to Jesus, including my thoughts on baptism.

Since the death of my husband a year and a half ago, I’ve been restless, searching for answers and direction for my future. My hands ache with a kind of spiritual arthritis from the tight grasp I’ve maintained on what needs to be released to Jesus. Somehow, the answers and direction I seek are tied to honoring Jesus’ command to be baptized by immersion.

This baptism isn’t for salvation – I’m already saved. Instead, it’s to proclaim the death and resurrection of Jesus over every area of my life. This act is so different from what happened to that little girl in the picture on Grandma’s lap. I now desire to testify through baptism that Jesus has washed and buried my guilt and sins and raised me, even from a child, with Himself to a new and eternal life. This baptism marks me as someone who is continually being sanctified by His Word and Spirit.

This baptism is the missing piece in my surrendering all to Jesus. Who am I to question God’s timing and the moving of His Spirit in my life? He alone has persuaded me by His grace, His providence and according to the counsel of His will. And so, with full confidence in Him, I say: So be it!