You’ll Always Be My Baby

This week it will be seven years since our son Matthew was killed by a drunk driver. Even though it has been seven years, there are times if feels like yesterday when in the humid night of the June 9th we watched a medical helicopter take our son to AC and then to Coopper. It was such a daze of hours at Coopper until they told us he had passed on June 10th. Weeks and months of shock, denial, numbness, and the greatest grief I have ever known continued.
In seven years, my daughter has had four children, and my oldest son has married and has a son of his own. They will never meet their Uncle Matt. That is the part that is hard to accept.
I went to his grave a couple weeks ago to put a Summer flag up at his grave site. I sat on the ground for quite a time. My eyes were wet, but I couldn’t cry. Maybe, my tears are all dried up in these seven years. I sure have cried many.
As the years go by responsibilities and obligations have come and gone because Life does go on. There is work, there are grandchildren that need their grandmother to play with them , and church activities. Life can’t just stop, even though I wished it so.
So although I love my son Matthew, I must let the days of constant grieving go. I know where his spirit is and I know I will see him again. This is what I believe. This is my hope. Our loved ones want us to go on with our lives in the “new life” that we are left with. Grief is never easy! Don’t let anyone tell you to just get over it. It is a journey that takes your whole life. As with any journey there are dips and hard times, but also mountain top experiences.
I started a grief support group right after Matt passed. I believe in these past seven years we have helped others in their grief. That makes me feel like Matthew’s passing wasn’t in vain. It honors my son in some way.
We love you Matthew. We know you are in a better place, but we sure do miss you here with us.