They Should Look Past Her Exterior Flaws

To The Editor:
I’m on Medicaid. I know what readers are think-ing. Trash. Yesterday, I called every doctor in Cape May County to see which would take my insurance. Out of roughly 15 doctors, two would take it. One was the Community Health Center. Lucky for me I was trash long before they opened the health center so I wasn’t in need of a doctor.
I know people look down upon me. I can tell by the way they eye my dingy clothes and the tint of oil lingering in my hair after a day of being unwashed. I hear the jokes they make at the store when I seem overwhelmed with my two young children, “Make sure you wear a condom or that could be you.” They don’t think I’m lucky. They think it’s sad I was put in this situation. It’s funny because I thank God every day and feel so blessed. But I guess they’re right, had I not had these children, there would be two extra spots for others in need of Medicaid.
They should look past my exterior flaws and see the brilliance I could embody, or will I have long passed before they consider me anything more than a negative parasite of society? Should I try to fit in and prove to them I am of value, or will it matter because their ideas of perfection so greatly differ from mine? Many times I have heard them talk of others and the remarks are always the same, condescending. The ideas they hold contradict the ideas He holds and the ideas I hold. So it is the ideas alone that bind us to our personalities. We are imprisoned by our beliefs. I choose not to be a prisoner. Because of that they tell me I am insecure.
The definition of insecurity is doubt. I have no doubt that it is better to be doubtful, or maybe I do. I’m not sure. Can’t I be unsure? I am smart enough to know that a heavy drill can break down even con-crete. How can they believe it is all black and white when every indication points to grey? But they can-not accept that, because the books and research tell them facts. The definition of a fact is…
JENNIFER HARTUNG
Rio Grande