Only Arranged Marriages

To the Editor:
Arranged marriage is common because of the culture in South Asia, Southeast Asia, Africa, the Middle East, Latin America, and some parts of East Asian countries. Women are not allowed to express their own preferences in love and their desires for marriage.
“Your sister has insulted our family because she married of her own choice,” my mother told me. “Not only in this life, but I won’t see her face in the next seven lives either. If you try to meet her, you won’t find me alive and you will be responsible for my death.” I could see the teardrops falling down from her eyes.
My sister’s boyfriend was in the process of finalizing the marriage. But, her boyfriend has a completely different background and comes from a different caste. She married him without notice. I wept for my family’s situation, not allowing my mother to see my tears.
In some parts of the world, women are not allowed to marry on their own terms. When a girl turns 16, the parents rush to get her married. They don’t understand that girls might prefer pursuing an education and earning an income.
After my sister’s escapade, my mother bemoaned to me, “I treated your sister as equal to a son. Perhaps if I had kept her under control, she would not send me to an early grave.” I replied with emotion, “What you are saying now seems senseless. What is her mistake? She was young and she chose a young boy to marry. It averted the problem of arranging a marriage ceremony for her.”
During a visit, a neighbor and aunt poured salt on my mother’s bleeding wound by saying, “Hasn’t your daughter made you look bad? Now your daughter has become the object of laughter of everyone in the city. Parents have the right to pressure their daughters into arranged marriages for the sake of their happiness.”
Due to societal and family pressures, young girls understand what their parents expect of them. I know that arranged weddings are mandated by the culture, but I believe that the bride and groom must share compatibility in terms of their future, careers, beliefs, values and lifestyles, which are important and affect our lives. Therefore, it should be a woman’s choice as to the kind of person she wants to have for a husband and with whom to share her life.