Let’s Call it What it is – Peer Abuse

To the Editor: 
With bullying, the dominant figure unsuspectingly presents as your peer, your equal and traditionally during childhood, a crucial time for brain development, social skill development, and confidence development.
Studies consistently show that victims of peer abuse are more likely to suffer from depression, anxiety, isolation, and fear. Oftentimes, the abused do not confide in their parents or teachers. These feelings fester, and if left untreated, can have profound, long-term effects on a child’s social development that carries into adulthood and presents in a myriad of emotional, physical and psychological symptoms ranging from sleep and eating disorders to mental illness.
It is well understood that abusers target the vulnerable, those unlikely to retaliate. So bullies target the one in their midst who tends to be different, the one who does not have the support, the confidence or the coping skills to properly stand-up for oneself.
The child-victim is most vulnerable.
Bullies find the children who are different, the children who “do not fit in.” The taunting only emphasizes to that child that they may be different and stresses their vulnerability with their peers.
Imagine that you are a displaced child, like many children living in the foster care system. If children in a familiar environment with strong family and other relationships do not vocalize the abuse to trusted adults, what are the chances a child feeling alone and unsupported will reach out for help?
Many believe some type of intimidation is a normal, childhood rite-of-passage. To many, the thought of a “bully” brings to mind the caricature of the biggest kid on the playground not picking you for his dodgeball team. But today, with the many additional electronic, and often anonymous, ways that children can be bullied, the big kid on the playground represents only a small fraction of the modern bullying reality.
Whether the bully is the big kid on the playground or the anonymous text stalker, one thing remains constant, when you consider the victims, who and why they are victims, and the long-term effects of their being victims, you clearly see that bullying is and always will be abuse.
ED. NOTE: DeRosa is the director of community development at (Court Appointed Special Advocates) CASA For Children of Atlantic and Cape May counties.