Maybe this will be the year I should go Trick of Treating. It’s been many decades since I donned a funny costume and wantonly roamed the streets of Cape May Court House seeking candy or whatever was plunked into my bag on Halloween night.
It would be a lot more difficult to walk the pavements I used to walk, and tap on the doors that used to give out stuff. Why? Because many of them are no longer there, like a civilization “gone with the wind.”
Trick or treat results in a mountain of sugar-filled treats that most youngsters really do not need. They get all excited about dressing up like Cinderella or Spiderman, Power Rangers of Woody from “Toy Story,” and they pick and choose what candy bars they want to gobble down, and the rest, well, is left for mom and dad, or siblings to devour at a later date.
There are homes that will get inundated by hordes of tiny, costumed witches and pirates, cowboys and princesses. There are others that will get none, or very few. Like real estate marketing, it’s all in the location.
Pity the homeowner who, anticipating a horde, stocks up on all manner of candy, then no one arrives. What is one to do with such a dilemma? Eat and become fat or give it away to a skinny acquaintance that likes candy? What a decision that is, worse than trying to figure out whom to vote for in the upcoming election.
Gigantic bags of assorted treats are best. Not a big fan of chocolate, I prefer licorice. However, licorice is not widely favored by the youth of today. They much prefer milk chocolate or a mixture of that with peanuts or chewy caramel. Thus, if I were to purchase Good and Plenty in sufficient quantity to give out for Halloween, I would be amply supplied for the next year or two, and that would get ugly.
Chewing gun is an alternative, but it’s not really what kids like to get in their bags. Taffies or lollipops are pretty standard, and, while I don’t care for chocolate that much, I do tolerate Tootsie Roll Pops, but one or two a year is my quota. Thus, to buy a five-pound sack of them would be to put me at odds with my family doctor, something that isn’t wise.
That orange and yellow candy corn is a favorite with many youngsters, yet never won over my heart. It was something you got from some people, and ate, but didn’t relish it very much.
No doubt some left over trick or treat candy will find its way to the polling places Nov 3. Perhaps a Milky Way or two will help keep the challengers awake from 6 a.m. until 8 p.m. when polls close. Maybe some of that vintage Jawbreaker candy will keep things lively as voters meander in to cast a vote for the Garden State’s new governor and Assembly representatives.
Shrewd campaign managers should swarm in and scoop up all those unsold bags of Hershey Kisses late Saturday night, after the Halloween rush is over, and carts of unsold candy remain to be sold at seriously reduced prices.
The candidates would then be able to give a campaign Kiss to all those precious voters right before the bewitching hour on Nov. 3, and not fear getting Swine Flu from anyone. Come on, who couldn’t throw a vote someone’s way for giving him or her a Kiss?
Yes, more than a few eyebrows might be raised at the state Election Law Enforcement Commission when candidates filed their campaign expense reports which state: “$2,500… Kisses”
It could get ugly if they were out of Kisses, and all that was left was bags of $100,000 Bars. What would the mavens of election spending think if, on a similar report the hopefuls wrote, “$1,750 for $100,000 bars?” It just would not be good.
Back to the serious side of Trick or Treat night. Many children will be on the streets in dark hours. They should be very careful to carry flashlights or wear reflective costumes.
Most people who participate in the giving of candy know the right thing to do is give wrapped food items. Those who don’t may opt to give out pencils or something worthwhile yet non-edible.
The oddest thing I ever got was from Nick Trombetta the barber, who placed a potato in my bag. While I didn’t think it funny at the time, it’s the only thing from trick or treat I remember after all these years.
A few children may even go door-to-door, (with parental supervision) collecting for UNICEF or some other worthwhile cause, thus eliminating their potential sugar high.
Whether you give a Kiss or a Hug, or a $100,000 Bar, money or pencils, have a happy and safe Halloween.
And while you continue on that sugar high from eating the kids’ candy, don’t forget to turn back your clocks on Saturday night.
That’s when Eastern Standard Time returns. It’ll be dark when we go home from work, and there may be lots of tempting Halloween candy around the house just calling, screaming, to be eaten. Be strong, don’t give in…but if you must, enjoy.
Cape May – Governor Murphy says he doesn't know anything about the drones and doesn't know what they are doing but he does know that they are not dangerous. Does anyone feel better now?
