This month’s submission was written by my wife, Sarah.
If you’re getting tired of me posting all my “launching a small business” content, please let me press pause for some behind the scenes of real-life Sarah.
For those of you who don’t know, our church, Coastal Christian, where my husband, Matt, is a teaching pastor, made a huge announcement that we are embarking on a project to build a new church. We have outgrown our current location and, after much due diligence, finally landed on a spot.
I’ve spent years complaining about how we can’t function well as a ministry in our current location. It’s overcrowded, has limited children’s space, and no parking. Now, I’m suddenly like, “hold on, wait. No, we can’t do this.”
I was surprised by my reaction, and I’m not sure if it’s my fear of becoming a megachurch or simply my love for the sweet season our fellowship has been in. Upon hearing the news, something inside me made me dig my heels into the sand.
By and large, I don’t care what people think (marrying a felon has assisted this process – I have grown some thick skin). If you know me, I like to shamelessly march to the beat of my drum. However, every time, I get a squinty-eyed, head-tilted, suspicious-filled question of, “so what’s the church doing?”
I whimper a little bit on the inside. Why? My insecurity doesn’t stem from a legit concern about the church’s move or the approval of those who attend. My fear steps in when the question jolts me into self-reflection.
Am I doing what God intended me to do? When that question flares up, several others flood my brain.
“Does my life even reflect Christ’s love?”
“Am I pouring into my children enough?”
“What if this small business is a complete failure?”
“What if I’m too worried about my kids and let my marriage fall by the wayside?”
“Am I being a good steward over what the Lord has entrusted to me?”
“Am I obeying God’s call on my life, or am I so caught up in my own selfishness that I’m missing the mark?”
Ever been there? Have you ever stopped to ask God, “Hey is this You?” Maybe it’s a relationship move, job opportunity, building a new church, but these seasons of life come without warning and can leave me feeling shut down, confused, or even questioning if I’m a true believer.
I have to rely on what I do know despite questions and uncertainty. I know I serve a God fully capable of redirecting my steps if I get off course.
I remind myself that when Moses led the Israelite’s out of slavery and to the Promise Land, he didn’t have a 10-step program in place. He didn’t know what the next stage looked like, but He was obedient. When God called Jonah to preach to those wretched degenerates in Nineveh, Jonah wasn’t having it, but God’s will was accomplished despite Jonah.
Whoever has read this, keep showing up, keep seeking Jesus’ joy in the mundane, and keep pursuing the Good Shepherd, even if you have feelings of doubt. Stay faithful, even when you don’t see what God is doing, and know He is bigger than any problem or pain – even the undertaking of a new church.
You don’t need to have all the answers; you just need to remember He is with you and is able, good, and in control.
ED. NOTE: Maher is the teaching pastor at Coastal Christian Ocean City and president of Soldiers For Faith Ministries. Social media and website: @TruthOverTrend
