Thanks, Ma! County Marks Global Handwashing Day

Oops, too late…we missed it by a week. How could that happen? Oh well, maybe next year…but for now let us say the day simply went down the drain, all washed up.
However, thanks to the Cape May County Board of Chosen Freeholders, Oct. 15 was duly noted in this southern extremity of the Garden State as Global Handwashing Day.
Nope, I’m not joking. True as the sun rises in the east and taxes are going up, this really took place. The county’s top governing body faced that all-important health matter head-on, (hands down) and unanimously passed a resolution reminding us all to wash our hands. The action was taken “to increase the public’s awareness and understanding of hand washing with soap and disease prevention.”
Don’t laugh. This is serious stuff. Have you ever wondered about signs in public rest rooms: “All employees must wash hands before returning to work?” Do they?
Suppose they are in a hurry, and simply splash some cold water on their hands, without using soap, lathering up, and adequately rinsing off. Does that qualify as hand washing?
Certainly, there must be standards for hand washing. If there is a day to commemorate, there must have been studies done about this humble act of decency.
Global Handwashing Day has its own Web site which states: “Handwashing with soap is the most effective and inexpensive way to prevent diarrheal and acute respiratory infections, which take the lives of millions of children in developing countries every year. Together, they are responsible for the majority of all child deaths. Yet, despite its lifesaving potential, handwashing with soap is seldom practiced and difficult to promote.”
“The challenge is to transform handwashing with soap from an abstract good idea into an automatic behavior performed in homes, schools, and communities worldwide. Turning handwashing with soap before eating and after using the toilet into an ingrained habit could save more lives than any single vaccine or medical intervention, cutting deaths from diarrhea by almost half and deaths from acute respiratory infections by one-quarter. A vast change in handwashing behavior is critical to meeting the Millennium Development Goal of reducing deaths among children under the age of five by two-thirds by 2015.”
All that probably came from mothers who got tired of telling their children to wash their hands after playing in the mud or romping with pet turtles before eating peanut butter and grape jelly sandwiches.
The day of digital cleanliness has potential for greatness. Lesser things have become important, why not honor handwashing?
Taken to its fullest, the day could prove a boon to America’s flagging national economy.
Face it; where there is dirt, there are dollars.
Soap manufacturers could benefit from increased sales of commemorative bars of scented stuff with imprints of two hands under a faucet.
Towel makers, paper and cloth, could link with soap purveyors to offer special Global Handwashing towel sets. QVC could sell millions of these sets for $29.95, plus $6.95 shipping and handling. Everybody could get a piece of the action. Isn’t that the American way?
Pupils could have programs about washing hands. New Jersey, never lacking to press children to do more in school, could place the special day to wash hands into its Core Curriculum Standard. That way, no pupil could graduate without having written essays about handwashing (after hand wringing about another test), and authoring a science paper about how many million germs are killed by a minute under running hot water.
Mention “killing” and instantly there is sure to be an outcry from opponents of hand washing. Germ advocates would hold placards on street corners and claim germs have rights. Don’t germs feel pain?
There is great benefit to germs. Don’t believe it? Ask the pharmaceutical industry. Ask your family doctor. Ask your favorite pharmacist. Like litter along the roadside, germs provide jobs. Without germs, there would be no need for soap or medicines or towels or water heaters. This thing could spiral downward for millions of people whose livelihoods and germs have an inexorable link.
For those of us who do not get the pleasure of a day off on Columbus Day (or for that matter almost any of those worthless Monday holidays), why not give us a day off to honor handwashing?
Many people get Election Day off, and don’t vote. Others get Good Friday off, and don’t set foot in a church. So what would be the harm in giving us off on Global Handwashing Day?
Whether we washed our hands or not, it would afford time to contemplate that and other things that our mother taught us, and whether clean hands are necessary for a long life.
We could ponder whether liquid hand soap was as lethal to germs as good, old Lava Hand Soap. We would be rested up, fresh and clean, ready to face the crazy world on Oct. 16.
From personal experience, I know hand washing is endangered. Ok, to save water, I’ve taken to using that alcohol-laced goo that kills germs without soap or water.
It makes environmental sense to me. If the germs are gone (sorry, germ advocates) and I save, say a gallon or two of water, what’s the harm? Which is more important, saving water or being clean and killing germs?
Doctors in hospital squirt foam stuff on their hands in between room visits, so there must be something to it or revered physicians certainly wouldn’t do it.
Guided by our county’s highest body of elected officials, even though we missed Global Handwashing Day last Wednesday, it may not be a bad idea to adopt on a regular basis, if you haven’t already done so in childhood.
As for germ advocates, tell ‘em, “Take a bath, and then take a hike.”