Speaking in the Light — Now, But Now Never!

Growing up I was quite good at the game of baseball that I loved. I could always hit very well and I prided myself in my excellent defense around first base.
I could scoop up just about any bad throw made to me and stretch forwards and reach out like the rubber band man. After my hard ball days were over, I moved on to the slow-pitch softball leagues and transitioned quite nicely.
I was a sought out player and excelled on every team that I was ever placed on. I played right through my 40’s and have continued to coach my kids through the years also in both baseball and softball.
Knowing my history and athletic ability is what has made the last few weeks such a ghostly reality for me. It has been a rude wake-up call that I wish wasn’t dialing my number. It has been one terrible horror show where I am starring as the victim. It has been nothing short of a bumpy ride to the land of non-stop embarrassment. It has made me utter those famous words of George Jetson, “Hey Jane- Stop this crazy thing, I want to get off!”
I turned 50 a few years ago and while my brain still believes that I can hang out on the sandlot with anyone, my body has been betraying me faster than Benedict Arnold pulled the wool over George Washington’s wig. This bag of bones doesn’t cooperate with me at all anymore. I thought that we were in this together! I thought we were on the same team! First my oldest son Rudy announces that he is now a Phillies fan and then this! Who authorized this mutiny on my bounty?
What the heck happened to the kid inside that now shows up as a slow, slightly overweight, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been of a ball player? I want to be young again!
I was asked to play on the Coastal Broadcasting Softball team and I got pretty excited about my comeback. I hadn’t played in a while and I thought that this would be my triumphant return. Then I had my heart issues but even so I figured that this venture would still be good exercise for me. It didn’t take long for me to develop Plantar Fasciitis in my heel with inflammation about 6 inches deep.
This makes it impossible for me to run anywhere without feeling like somebody is slicing my foot with a knife! Playing the position I love, first base, has now become an adventure for me because I wear bifocals and there are moments when I see two balls being hit at me and I have to decide which one is real and which one is a figment of my lack of vision. I am only fifty-fifty at my guess ratio so far and that makes for some “hang my head in shame” moments as the guy who never missed the ball in his life is now missing it regularly and completely!
They also put me up to bat last! I had never batted last in my life and now amidst these young guns- I was now placed at the end of the line and I have to admit I didn’t feel too good about that. And last night, when I smacked the ball hard- I took two steps toward first base and immediately felt my hamstring pop and knew the writing for me and this season was on the wall. I could no longer just jump right in to the deep end without my inner tube! I was going to have to work my way back to a form that I could be proud of- but work I will because it is not in my DNA to just roll over and quit.
So as I continue to make my bucket list, I just need to allow for my holes and leaks in my container! These won’t deter me- just make me more determined to work harder and be intentional about doing and achieving the things that I know I can still do. And as for being over-the hill, forget about it! I for one know how steep my hill looks and that must mean I am still climbing higher and moving on up towards new challenges and fresh assignments. As I write this article today, I can hardly move and I ache when I do.
On top of everything else, I also had a migraine headache this morning and took enough medication for a rhinoceros but whatever it takes to take whatever is what I am willing to still do. I won’t go quietly and I am not about to spend the rest of my life on the bench or soaking up the sun on the sidelines.
I guess I have a two-fold challenge as I close. One is for those of you like me who need to do a better job of taking care of that body that God has given you. I haven’t always treasured what I have ended up taking way too much for granted and I am paying the piper right now for not being more pro active along the way.
I guess we never think that we are getting older but this old house that encases my soul sure could use a make over and I am committed to doing what it takes so that I can stick around for many more years to come. Secondly, for those of you younger people- don’t write off the older ones as quick as you some times do. There is still much to be learned by taking the time to be open to somebody who still has much to teach and contribute.
As I told Coach Jenna, if I come I expect to play because I believe I still have much to offer and there is nothing worse than to have somebody with much to give but nobody to give it to! Be patient and be understanding and also be aware that you too will be where I am one day and you will want the same courtesy!
I took myself off the softball team’s roster today- but not forever. Just long enough to get back to a place where I can be proud of who I am and what I am still willing to do! So, it’s not never- it is just not now but I will return and when I do- watch out- cause my best is still yet to come!