Share the Savings? Not So Fast, Sonny

Brad Rosenthal, Cape May County’s Shared Services coordinator, is not a man “of the cloth,” but I’d bet an offering envelope he knows exactly how clerics feel, week after week, preaching to their congregations.
Let me call him Brad, since it takes less space and makes it more personal. He made a county shared services presentation Feb. 22 that covered 2006-2010. Like clergypersons, who toil long and hard on their sermons, which are delivered with all the impact of a freight train rumbling down the tracks at 65 mph, Brad had the wide-eyed attention of freeholders.
All, that is, except the chap who asked him to make the presentation, Vice Director Leonard Desiderio. He had been invited to Trenton to hear Gov. Chris Christie first-hand impart upon the Garden State dire words about our fiscal frailties.
So, it’s not as if Len shunned Brad, it’s just that he was listening to another “sermon” from a different “pulpit.”
Brad’s “gospel” message had been to this county’s 16 municipalities.
For the sake of this column, just consider those towns like families for the sake of argument. Brad’s been spreading the word about doing things more cost effectively by linking together, sort of like when the Jones and Sherman families decide to split the bill of a vacation cabin in the Poconos.
In the cold of February, it sounds very logical to agree, over popcorn and root beer, “Yeah, that sounds great, we can get the cabin for $1,000, split the tab, pay $500 each, and we’ll have enough to buy steak and a fishing license,” or something like that.
Then comes that lovely day of departure in August when Pop Jones and Ma Sherman begin packing the trusty old van, and she says to him, “You’re not bringing the computer along, are you?” “Why, yes I am. Why do you care?” “Well, if we had known you were going to bring THAT thing, we would have made sure to bring ours!”
You get the picture. Right then, there is a crack in Happy Town’s solid rock foundation. Slight irritations and peevish actions start to be listed, mentally, of course. Finally, by the time the caravan screeches to a halt in the fresh Poconos air, blood pressures are up, and half the vacation is wasted.
“Next year, we’re going to South Carolina on our own,” said Ma Jones, outside earshot of Pop Sherman, of course. However, he is saying similar words to his beloved.
So shared services, the golden goose of saving loot and leaving everyone with a cheesy grin, gets filed away until next year. The parties make the best of a bad situation, agree to disagree then go their separate, more costly ways.
If only the county’s municipal “families” could get over the petty grievances, the poor schlep who gets sacked with the bill might see some solace, but don’t hold your breath.
Don’t get me or Brad wrong, shared services are a great idea, but they are really meant for a world that has yet to be born. Some sharing has been going on for years without fanfare, like sharing heavy equipment and buying gasoline for fleet vehicles.
Other services, however, are doomed to failure from the moment of birth.
Take central emergency dispatching, for instance.
If ever there was a way to embroil every public safety sector in one short breath, “Central Dispatch” is it.
Brad mentioned, only in passing, that Atlantic County is building a new central county dispatch at NAFEC, and that, should any Cape May County towns be interested, basically, there it is.
Freeholder Director Daniel Beyel reckoned a time in his earlier political life, about 20 years ago, when Middle Township, Upper Township, Dennis Township and Woodbine gave emergency dispatching a spin from Middle’s dispatch center on Mechanic Street, Court House.
Sort of like the Jones and the Shermans in the Poconos, Upper Township wasn’t happy with the arrangement, pulled out and went with Ocean City. The others went their separate ways, too.
It has been a sore point among Middle officials, but they’ve moved on. Lesson learned about shared services, “All that’s shiny isn’t gold.”
Freeholder Ralph Sheets, Wildwood’s retired police chief and mayor, cited one reason a central dispatch, for police, anyway, was a dim notion: Local police departments are familiar with those they serve.
Someone dispatching from Galloway Township or even India, has no idea that every full moon, for example, Connie S. goes outside and screams at the brightness in the sky for a half hour. Officer Pete, who has answered many calls to the S. residence on full moon nights, knows she isn’t dangerous, talks to her, and she goes to bed. The local dispatcher knows that, and always sends Officer Pete.
Such would not be the case if a panel of dispatchers got that same weird call, and sent rookie Patrolman Freeman, who would call for an ambulance and haul poor Connie S. to the ER for mental evaluation.
That’s where shared services need some Gorilla Glue and duct tape.
Brad, and clerics, know their “congregations” really want to strive for perfection. They know everyone has only the best of intentions, to swerve from sin or save money for taxpayers. It sounds really good, we all nod our heads, and possibly shout “Amen! “silently or aloud. Then, we step out the door of the house of worship, and face reality head on.
As Brad and clerics watch their flocks wander into the cold world, they probably recall that Pennsylvania Dutch proverb, “We get too soon old, und too late schmart!”