Responds to Spouters with Heartfelt Thanks

Spout Off has been a popular feature of this newspaper since its inception over 20 years ago. It is assumed in our community that only those who are targeted by negative gripes and complaints, such as our local politicians, dislike this section—which allows readers to anonymously publish their comments.
The pervasive attitude is that of the well-known proverb: “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen”—because it is also assumed that every word published in a newspaper must be true.
My personal ethics have always made me an opponent of Spout Off. I grew up in a vocal, close-knit, Italian family, where strong opinions flowed as freely and regularly as the gravy on our pasta. We were taught if you have something to say, you stand up for it. As a principle of moral integrity and a demonstration of your honesty and sincerity, you did not hesitate to attach your name to your opinions.
This meant that if you wanted your views in the newspaper, then you wrote a letter to the editor. Of course, the letter would include your name and hometown. In fact, you would then receive a phone call from the editor for the purpose of verifying authenticity.
I have been told by the defenders of Spout Off that this venue gives people who are supposedly afraid or disenfranchised the opportunity to express themselves in a newspaper without fear of retribution. Unfortunately, without accountability, Spout Off is a source of bias and inaccuracy that adds immeasurably to the current perception that our newspapers have failed in their role as the public trust. In this role, the primary purpose of newspapers is to supply the information that makes democracy work.
But Spout Off, as its very name suggests, is a reservoir full of haters brimming with pettiness, jealousy, vindictiveness, absurd innuendo, and all too often, unadulterated lies and deceptions.
Long before the Mahers had ever fallen victim to Spout Off, I had written a column repudiating it. I still refuse to read the remarks, but there are those who nevertheless make me aware of the despicable chatter pertaining to my family or me. I would be the liar now if I didn’t admit that some of it hurts. However, here is a response from my son, Matt, after some recent Spout Off postings were sent to him in prison.
“I would like to take this time to express my heartfelt feelings and thoughts, but I would like to do so without any condemnation, resentment or judgment between us. I am now aware that regardless of how I am doing in life, good or bad, you will always be there to point out my flaws.
“Before, I could not understand such pointless hate; but now I see the importance that you play in my life. You are the reason I strive to be a better person and continue to get up when I fall. I thank you for constantly and consistently enumerating my mistakes because it is with your help that I move forward in life. I recognized that Christ required my full submission, which was an acknowledgment propelled by your accusations.
“As I move forward, I am not mad at you nor do I hold any bitterness toward you. I understand the importance of claiming my mistakes and owning up to them. By doing so, those who observe me may see and learn from the mistakes that I made. So, thank you for your honesty. Though you may not have intended to help, you motivated me beyond words.
“I often think about the countless times that you thought it necessary to inflict more suffering upon an already painful and grievous situation, but then you made me realize the truth of scripture: I should consider it pure joy to face trials, because the testing of my faith develops perseverance (James 1:3).
“You may have meant it to harm me, but God has used it for my good—molding and shaping me as the potter forms the clay (Isaiah 64:8). I know that you and I can move past our differences; and even though we have never had a conversation, nor do you know anything about me, I sincerely wish you the absolute best in life.
“I pray that someday you may realize how powerful your attacks and persecutions have been in the determination of my finishing this race—as the Apostle Paul refers to the completion of the course of his life and the fulfillment of God’s will for him, which includes overcoming the conflict of sin. I do not know where I would be without you, but I have never been more convinced that you are a necessity for me personally.
“Please do not feel obliged to respond. I truly wrote this letter out of nothing but gratitude and appreciation and love. I would like to share with you a short saying I once read and have never forgotten: Hate will eat up the giver before the receiver can chew on it.”
Take care; and may God bless, love, and keep you, my friend!”
Matthew Maher
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