R-E-S-P-E-C-T Is Learned at Home

It’s been said an expert is a guy from out of town, dressed in a fancy suit, who is paid $500 an hour to tell you what your friends would have told you for nothing. That said, it will come as no surprise to find, written in the Jan. 23 edition of USA Today, that respect in schools is dwindling.
Should that surprise anyone older than 25 years old? Best thing is, it does not have to remain that way.
At the risk of sounding like Ben Franklin and I were freshmen in high school at the same time, if boys and girls are not taught respect at home, from their earliest days in the crib, all’s lost. It’s a basic notion of society that self-respect is first, that instills a sense of worth to the person and his or her possessions. That person is valued and important. His or her ideas are special, because every person planted on this tired earth has a special mission to fulfill.
The poll cited in that publication noted that “Perceived parent respect for teachers drops from 91 percent to 49 percent.” We’ve seen televised video clips of young people in city classrooms attacking each other. In many of those videos, teachers stand back allowing the attacks to continue.
Now, for a point of reference, when Ben and I were cracking books, studying times tables and trying to recall whether “shucks” was a bad word, teachers ruled the room. That’s because there was a solid track for discipline. If, heaven forbid, you mouthed off (they called it “sassed” in the ancient of days) a teacher, the next move was out the door straight to the principal’s office. There, trembling, the student would sit wondering what fate would befall. That, they knew, was simply the beginning of woes.
That’s because foul deeds were treated very seriously. And, for the good of society, it became the principal’s task to administer anything short of corporal punishment, but worse, mom and dad got a phone call from the office.
Judgment Day would have been better for the youthful offender than to return home to an irate mother or father. Hell had no fury like that.
To be sure, it was the wise boy or girl who then thought twice about sassing their teacher. Like it or not, a wee lesson was learned about respect.
Fast forward to today’s “I can do anything I want, and if you don’t like it you can go straight to…” society. Many youngsters are raised on the sad morals of television. If that is the teaching tool of morality, where do we sign the society’s surrender treaty?
Moldable minds learn to be smart-mouthed to anyone they don’t like. Mom and dad seldom take a moment to point out that such manners or behavior is not acceptable in this household. So, like that little leak in the dike, a trickle of water flows in. That drip is followed by another and another until the hole is sizable, and pretty soon the dike itself is in danger of collapse.
In that USA Today article, a speech therapist is recorded as stating “Teachers are ‘sadly the first to be blamed.’” How can we make it a bit more relevant? I’ve spoken to some company commanders at the Coast Guard Training Center. They are the ones who become a mixture of parent, teacher, and policeman and, for many, mentors in the sea service. They find, not surprisingly, they may well be the first individual in many young lives who order them to do anything. They were taught no respect at home, no respect for parents, probably no respect for their teachers, in all likelihood no respect for the law, then, at the tender age of maybe 18 or 20, they present themselves, heads close cropped, in military attire.
That is hardly the time to begin to learn respect, but it has to start somewhere. Better late than never, I suppose. We know the military is a reflection of society itself, but of what worth would be a military where rank meant nothing, and there was no respect for orders?
For those who, in their younger days, enjoyed “Mary Poppins,” remember what Mr. Banks said about “The British home?” Those homes, in that quaint movie, were like the British Army, he said. “Condition, discipline and rule must be the tools, without them you have a ghastly mess.”
Well, Mr. Banks, we indeed have allowed ourselves to become a “ghastly mess.” As a result, respect hits an all-time low. That stated, take a look around. Is it a pretty picture you see?
Fortunately this is not a terminal illness. Parents are still in control of their children, although it’s not an easy task. They, parents, must stand by teachers and enforce order and discipline in young minds. Regardless of what they may be shown on TV or in movies, youngsters need parental guidance. They are not born with all needed intelligence. I’d bet next week’s paycheck that young people sorely want parental guidance, yet it’s often lacking.
Respect is first learned, but it’s also earned. Each day, teachers earn respect by caring, perhaps reaching out to someone who, potentially, has not been taught self-respect. If we expect tomorrow to be brighter than today, a bit of respect, and maybe some introspection may be just what is needed.