#iCONVICTION: Reflect & Reality Check (Father’s Day Tribute)

There is no better time than the present to reflect and get a reality check. There is no better day than today to remember how far you’ve come and appreciate what God has brought you through. Don’t focus on how you may not be where you want to be, but reflect on the fact that you are not where you used to be.
These are principles that my father taught my brothers and me from an early age, the importance of sacrifice and discipline, reflection and progression; whether it was in sports, academics, or just everyday life.  He made us understand that we will only get out of life as much as we put into life, while always emphasizing the importance of honest hard work. He would say with fatherly motivation, “What did you do today to accomplish your goals?” Or, “What can you learn from yesterday to make yourself better today?”
So as I reflect, then reality check, I realize that regardless of where I’ve been and what I’ve done, or even where I am now and what I’m doing, my father’s underlying goal was for his children to learn sacrifice and discipline in order to move forward in faith and honor of God. Like my Father in heaven, my father on earth loved me in my past mess and supports me in my present message.
I remember the countless times my father chastised me for my poor attitude on the soccer field, even after a multiple-goal performance.  He would quickly remind me, “It’s not about your reputation as a good soccer player (what people see), but it’s about your character while playing, whether winning or losing,” (what God sees). 
He made me realize that nothing can substitute for a positive attitude and Christ-like character. I failed over and over again. But today I know exactly where I am and how important my character must be, because it is the essence of who I truly am and not what people say I am (reputation).
I remember shortly after my fatal accident, many friends and family were gathered together for a family function, including my pastor and his young girls, who had regularly attended our Maher Brothers Soccer Camps. And I was clearly the elephant in the room. My father tackled the gloomy, atmospheric tension head on.   
He bluntly and honestly stated how shameful and horrific my situation was, but that responsibility and accountability was our family’s goal.  He made it clearly known that what I did was inexcusable and that I must be punished for it (I agreed), and just as vehemently professed our family’s faith in a God who controls EVERYTHING. 
That courageous and honest stance made an impression on everyone there, but more so, strengthened my heart; and to this day remains a real life example of what faith in action looks like, especially when it is being tested. 
Today, I see that all my redeeming qualities were directly learned from my father, and regardless of the tragedy I caused, I know that both my Father in heaven and my father on earth will always love me and support me. So this column is dedicated to my father and the many dads who also encourage their children to learn lessons from reflection and reality checking.
Matthew Maher is a former professional athlete and author of the newly released book “U MAY B THE ONLY BIBLE SOMEBODY READS: R U LEGIBLE?” His “Decisions Determine Destiny” assemblies are funded by State Farm and service youth in the tri-state area. He is also the director of Student Ministries at Coastal Christian Ocean City. He served four years and seven months in N.J. State prison and was released August 2014. You can learn more at www.themattmaherstory.com. Follow him on Twitter @mattmaherstory and on Instagram @matthewmaher7