Many many years ago, I was working in a small town in Iowa and I was very nervous about the requirement of total independence in my field of Jewish education. I remember sitting home alone in this small town wondering what I was truly doing. I had felt lost.
I had missed the time in graduate school of having my life planned out for me, having all work ordered to me and scheduled through classes and my educational program. Suddenly I was thrust into this small town in Iowa where I made the final decisions and there was no one there overseeing my every move. Most would find the independence exciting; however I found the total independence terrifying.
Summer our thoughts start with independence but we begin to run away from the responsibility of that independence As the summer slowly retreats we enter the Jewish month of Elul and again embrace independence of our faith and cling to God as we ask for forgiveness of the mistakes of the past and prepare for Rosh Hashannah next month.
It is with this element that we enter into the Parshah of Shelach in which B’nai Yisrael are told to appoint spies and prepare to enter the land and conquer it for settlement. This might seem like an exciting time but after a period of total dependence from the slave taskmasters to being fed the Manna in the desert, suddenly Israel must prepare themselves for entering a new phase in their life, independence as a nation reliant in their faith in God and themselves.
We are introduced to Parshat Shelach as the children of Israel were camping near the land of Canaan and they prepared to find a way to enter the land and build a new future. Moses sent scouts to investigate the country. Moses charged them to go to the south and up into the mountains to see the land and the people that live in it.
They were to observe whether they are strong or weak, few or many, live in camps or strongholds and whether the land is good or bad, fat or lean, and whether there are trees therein or not. These are important elements when any people need to gain a foothold into the land. This is not anything secret but basic practicality on growing to independence and accepting responsibility.
When the spies returned they retreated unto themselves and their greatest fears revealing a failure to grasp the independence needed for freedom. The famous bible scholar Nachamah Leibowitz also suggests a more devious agenda. According to Leibowitz, the spies knew exactly to praise the land and its fruitfulness, which would make them, appear objective and then counter with the unconquerability of the fortress quality of its inhabitants.
They did this by saying to their people “And they spread an evil report of the land which they had explored unto the children of Israel, saying. The land which we have thoroughly explored is a land that eateth up the inhabitants thereof.” What Leibowitz is revealing with the failure of the spies is that the spies knew what was right for their people by revealing how good the land was but lacked the faith in their people and themselves in the ability to secure it. Their failure led to the punishment of wondering for 40 years in the desert.
The spies’ failure was not that they did not believe in God but they had lacked all belief in themselves and the good that they could do. After hundreds of years of slavery they could no longer distinguish their own Godliness when they looked at themselves. This is the sin that God could not forgive, losing faith in their own good nature. The sin of the spies was much like the sin of Miriam only her failure was she spoke ill of her brother, the spies spoke L’Shon HaRah about themselves.
In looking inward sometimes we tend to be the greatest critics of ourselves and often the least forgiving. Our own inner psychology knows our deepest fears and weakness and often we exploit them to keep from making important decisions in our lives. God saw what the people had done when they chose to run away from their own freedom in the fear of their growing independence and chastised them. He could forgive a rebellion against Him but not one where they rebelled against faith in themselves and their own ability to succeed.
This August is a unique month because as we are still so knee deep in summer we need to prepare ourselves for the high holidays just three days after Labor Day. During this busy month in Cape May County we need to remember that we sometimes are our greatest critics and we must find a way to prepare to forgive ourselves for our inner failings as we enter the month of Elul.
Being scared of our independence is normal but we should not let that fear paralyze us from moving forward and growing in our independence and freedom as we prepare for Rosh Hashannah Sept. 8. This is what God teaches us in Parshat Shelach and what we prepare for in the month of Elul, to always have faith in our ability and to always try and find the best within ourselves. Each and every one of us has a special gift within our souls, we just need to reach down deep and grab it.
Rabbi Jeffrey Lipschultz is the spiritual leader Beth Judah Temple in Wildwood. He welcomes your comments at dvjewish@rof.net
Cape May – Governor Murphy says he doesn't know anything about the drones and doesn't know what they are doing but he does know that they are not dangerous. Does anyone feel better now?
