Don’t Be a Bitter Body

Have you ever noticed that you can’t be free to love, be grateful, be able to worship or truly able to function properly when you are harboring bitterness in your heart? To nurture bitterness is like trying to use battery acid as pure refreshment.
Bitterness is a response, a repercussion of bad things done to a person. But to react with bitterness is not necessarily a reflex that must occur. We can aspire to higher goals. We don’t have to make our home in a pit of despair just because life becomes a bit unfair.
I want to begin by doing a bit of work both pastorally and theologically regarding bitterness. My first conclusion is “Bitter people are like archeologists, always digging up the past.”
If you ever take the time to really talk to someone who is bitter, they will continually revisit painful circumstances from their past. They can’t move on because they won’t move on. They always return back to the muck they almost like being stuck in.  Bitter Bodies say things like, “That’s the day that my life was ruined.” “That’s the day that my hope was destroyed.” “My existence has been one long funeral service ever since that day it all came crashing down.”
Bitter people have the tendency to remember intricate details because they keep a record of all wrongs done to them. The Bible in 1 Corinthians 13:5 says, “Love keeps no record of wrongs
Bitter people do keep a record of wrongs, and they will revisit and rethink and recollect certain circumstances and situations, not always accurately, because bitter people sometimes lack a truthful perspective. When you’re dealing with a bitter person, they’ll say things like—“On this day.”
And they grab the spotlight and begin to recite the day of the week and the actual date and the time of day and the weather and what you were wearing and what your facial expression was and the tone of your voice and word for word what you said. And you may sincerely respond by saying, “I don’t know if I do remember.” And they snap back with, “What, you don’t care?” Bitter bodies never get tired of replaying that video of how they were wronged every opportunity they get.
Bitter people aren’t so much triggered by the offense done to them as much as they are by the one who has done the damage. What I mean is this, if a complete stranger does something against you, even if it is detestable, 10 years later you are not likely to be bitter, because they were a stranger.
But if someone that is near and dear to you, someone that you love and have deep affection for, offends you, sins against you, hurts you, and disappoints you, you are more likely to become bitter because your expectations were higher.
They may say something like, “It wasn’t that a big of a deal,” but the bitter body snaps back with, “But you are and I can’t believe that you would ever have done something like that to me.” So in turn, we’re most likely to become bitter against the people we love the most—which includes the following relationships like our parents, our grandparents, our children, our grandchildren, our spouse, our friend, our ministry leader, and the people that we love and have expectations of and hopes for.
Bitter people also get ticked off at God because it is in their opinion that the Lord hasn’t done the right job in protecting and looking out for them like he could and should. We hear things like, “How could a loving God ever do that to me?”
There is an unhealthy perception that if God really cared then he would never let hard times happen. But if you live in earth, you are not exempt from the storms and trials no matter how loved you may be. Love doesn’t take the pain away. Love stays consistent through everything that might be thrown our way.
Bitter people are prone to be proud, self-centered and self-righteous since they are the ones that always seem to be wearing the label, “Victim” as a badge of honor. They don’t want the truth as much as they revel in pity.
They don’t want to change as much as they want to be affirmed in their state of vengeance. They don’t make things better as much as they keep spitting out one excuse after another. But the truth that needs to be both told and received is that no one else can make you bitter. Others may be responsible for their sin, but you still must give an account for your own choice of welcoming bitterness rather than looking to get better.
Amy Carmichael was a gifted missionary, and she has this insightful analogy. She said, “For a cup brimful of sweet water cannot even spill one drop of bitter water, however suddenly jolted.”
This is your heart. Someone sins against you and jostles your heart but all that comes out of it, is what’s already in it. If there’s bitterness in you, they’re not causing it; they’re exposing it. If there’s sweet water in your soul, and someone sins against you and makes you spill your guts, they’re only exposing and not changing, what is in your soul.
You can’t say, “I was only sweet water, and then they bumped me, and all the water became bitter.” No, all the jolting, and sinning, and conflicting does is reveal, not change, who we are. If it’s bitter, it’s because we are choosing bitterness. If it’s sweet, it’s because we’re choosing sweetness.
What’s in your heart? What’s in your soul? Is it sweetness or bitterness?
Don’t behave like you have no control over the answer. God can remove the mess if you will allow him to. It isn’t easy but it is worth it.
And it will take more than just a surface cleaning. It will mean giving God the green light to get to the bitter root so he can dig out the death that will only steal the life from you. Will you get real about how you truly feel?
Will you refrain from interpreting the pain as a bad thing when it really is to set up the Spirit to be allowed to do something good to you and through you?
Bitter is never better and please don’t allow your identity to come from all the wrong that has been done to you. God has much more in store for those who will cling to life and kiss death goodbye.