Cool at Age 13 Might Have Drawbacks

A June 24, 2014, article in The New York Times by Jan Hoffman entitled “Cool at 13, Adrift at 23,” Hoffman tells us of a study of almost 200 young people over 10 formative years:
“At 13, they were viewed by classmates with envy, admiration and not a little awe. The girls wore makeup, had boyfriends and went to parties held by older students. The boys boasted about sneaking beers on a Saturday night and swiping condoms…They were cool. They were good-looking. They were so not you. Whatever happened to them?”
She quotes a psychology professor from the University of Virginia, Joseph Allen, who is the lead author of the new study in the journal, Child Development, which followed “cool kids” and found their social standing later often nose-dived, and they began to struggle.
“It was their early rush into what Dr. Allen calls “pseudomature” behavior that set them up for trouble. Now in their early 20s, many of them have had difficulties with intimate relationships, alcohol and marijuana, and even criminal activity…
“As fast-moving middle-schoolers, they were driven by a heightened longing to impress friends. Indeed their brazen behavior did earn them a blaze of popularity. But by high school, their peers had begun to mature… The cool kids’ popularity faded.”
“Adolescents who can stick to their own
values can still be considered cool”
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The Times article also cites a professor of psychology at the University of Wisconsin, Bradford Brown, who offered that the study, in which he was not involved, presented a wealth of information.
He and his colleagues found that about 20 percent of the group fell into the “cool kid” category, and that these young people gravitated toward friends who were attractive, and more sexually active than their peer group, and were somewhat delinquent in their behavior.
By the time that they reached 23, their problems related to marijuana and alcohol were 45 percent greater, and their criminal behavior was 22 percent greater than their peers.
“Those early attempts to act older than they were seemed to have left them socially stunted. When their peers were asked how well these young adults got along with others, the former cool kids’ ratings were 24 percent lower than the average young adult.
“The researchers grappled with why this cluster of behaviors set young teenagers on a downward spiral. Allen suggested that while they were chasing popularity, they were missing a critical developmental period. At the same time, other young teenagers … engaged in drama-free activities like watching a movie at home together on a Friday night, eating ice cream. Parents should support that behavior and not fret that their young teenagers aren’t “popular,” he said.
“To be truly mature as an early adolescent means you’re able to be a good, loyal friend, supportive, hardworking and responsible,” Allen said. “But that doesn’t get a lot of airplay Monday morning in a ninth-grade homeroom.”
“Dr. Mitchell J. Prinstein, a professor of psychology at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill who studies adolescent social development, said that while teenagers all long to be accepted by their peers, studies suggest that parents can reinforce qualities that will help them withstand the pressure to be too cool, too fast.
“Adolescents also appreciate individuality and confidence,” he said. “Adolescents who can stick to their own values can still be considered cool, even without doing what the others are doing.”
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After reading the article, I called Andrea Maher because I remember that she and a number of others had run a program in schools in our state to encourage young people to make responsible decisions including abstaining from sex. The program later was eliminated because Gov. Corzine would not accept the already-approved federal funding to continue it. I wish Gov. Corzine had had this study in hand back then when Maher and the others tried to meet with him to attempt to get him to change his mind.
My grandson, Collin, who is 15, is spending the summer with Patricia and me, and I asked him to tell me what he has seen. “I have experienced what the article describes,” he said, “but in the classical academy where I now go, no one respects those kids…That’s what losers do.”
Art Hall
From the Bible:
Do not forsake the paths of uprightness to walk in the ways of darkness. From Proverbs 2