Boys Should Be Boys

I was delighted to hear recently of a young mother named Christa who took her two preschool sons for a kayak ride. A big smile came across my face and I told her how proud I was of her that she treated her very young boys to a true outdoor adventure. Too many women are buying into the trend to prohibit the very activities and challenges that every boy needs. I am sorry, but we don’t become men via the lame route of playing video games. There is only so much indoors a male species can handle before he goes stir crazy. Somebody has to open up the cage and let the kids out to roam and play. And yes, it might mean a scrape or two along the way.
I remember how proud my dad was when I got my first black eye. He did not condone fighting but he did teach me how to protect myself. When I told him that I was sticking up for somebody on the playground and got involved in the ruckus to stand up to the bully that was pushing my friend around, he didn’t punish me either. Fisticuffs between guys was just part of the adolescent experience. I can just imagine what they do to kids who get into spats during recess these days, even if schools are even allowed to have unsupervised recreation time anymore.
If you desire your sons to grow into men that are faithful, dependable, strong and courageous tomorrow, you must back off with smothering them today. Climbing to the very top of the monkey bars is innate. Falling off a bicycle while trying to jump over a huge ditch is a rite of childhood passage that helps builds character. A broken bone here or a scar there should not be over-exaggerated! Boys will always be boys and those ingredients include running, not sitting still, talking too loud, wiping their nose on their sleeves, getting their clothes as dirty as humanly possible, and turning every stick into a weapon of chivalry.
I know when I grew up it was a totally different world and we can’t just let our kids go out and play until dark as we once did. But we don’t have to race over to the other extreme either. Boys don’t need to say, “I’m sorry” and give each other a hug after they have had a bit of roughhousing on the living room floor. We roll around on top of each other to get out the frustration and then we get up and smack each other on the shoulder and move on as if nothing ever happened.
Invitation to exploration by building something with his own bare hands can do wonders for creativity. Sports don’t always have to be at the local Rec Center with too many parents recording ones every move. Playing tackle football, hitting a baseball, kicking a soccer ball, trying to dunk a basketball all push a young man’s growing body to the limit.
Hey moms out there – feel free to say, “Be Careful,” all you want but most boys don’t want to be careful. We want to know that we pushed ourselves to the limit and back. All of the trials and triumphs of childhood help us to become men who are faithful and don’t quit just because things get tough or somebody out there didn’t agree with us.
God is calling men to become strong, active, risk taking disciples of Jesus. How can that happen if we are always forced to be in a controlled and safe environment? I want to scream every time I hear that the whole value of true competition is removed from the present day vocabulary. What good is running hard if everybody gets the same trophy? Why study if you know you can keep taking the test until you get all the answers right? Why fight if you know that nobody has the guts to fight back? Why be willing to believe if nobody has the wherewithal or the conviction to give a rip and care?
How many of you ladies ever wondered, “What if Mary was an overprotective Mother?” Jesus was a carpenter. He played with hammer and nails. He got splinters and hurt. And then one day he totally laid himself out so that he could love the world in the manner it needed to be loved! And all Mary could do was watch. But she did let go and allow her son to be who God wanted him to be.
I am not advocating that we cease having rules and boundaries for our boys. I am just asking that we might loosen the reins a bit. Train the child in the way they should go without breaking their spirit!
I saw a dirt pile the other day on Route 9. I was all dressed to go to the church office. But the boy in me stopped along the side of the road and ran up it because that’s what males do! If there is a mountain, it must be climbed. If there is a dragon, it must be conquered. If there is a problem, then room must be provided for the boy to be able to work it out on his own so that he won’t be left defenseless when he becomes a man.
I close with a couple of quotes. The first is from the songwriter Cole Porter: “I want to ride to the ridge where the west commences, I can’t look at hobbles and I can’t stand fences. Don’t fence me in.” The second is from Howard Macey: “The spiritual life of a man cannot be made suburban. It is always frontier, and we who live in it must accept and even rejoice that it remains untamed.”