I spoke calmly to my client, Nancy, during our last scheduled session after working with me in psychology for 30 years.
“Yes, John and I are buying a new home. It is really pretty and quite roomy. The large front yard is beautifully maintained, and it will be lovely to love in this elegant home in Audubon, New Jersey, near our kids and grandkids,” I said. “It looks really pretty from the pictures, and the big yard invites your delight in planting annuals and perennials.”
“Judith,” Nancy replied, “you love what you do, and the house will be great fun for you, but you are also celebrating half a century of client care this month. You told me that your other clients are writing you thank you notes and dropping off fresh flowers for you because they want to help you celebrate.”
“Yes,” I answered, “someone dropped off a beautiful and rare plant by driving to my home in the city yesterday, and I felt deeply touched, and you brought me fresh, homegrown flowers that are very special.”
Nancy looked at me. “I owe part of the success in my life and my marriage to the work we did together,” she said. “I do not know if I could have done this alone, and I did not want to take the chance. The regular discussions we have done in my therapy over the last 30 years have enabled me to start and succeed in my business. You helped me to grow, just like this plant grows. I cannot thank you enough.”
“Nancy, I don’t know if I will ever be ready to stop caring about those I like, but I do know that the requirements of starting a business are tricky and that you pulled yourself together to make this work. I congratulate you on your perseverance and skill,” I said. “It has been my deep pleasure to assist you in coming into your own.”
To my surprise, Nancy had tears in her eyes.
“Judith, I wanted desperately to make it as a single-female business owner. It was really not easy, and you were key in encouraging me to take the chance. Inviting me to join a group was really wise, and I finally got the courage to tell my friend, Ben, that he needs to use therapy to get through grad school, and he is taking my advice. I am so happy for him.”
I did not know Ben. “How did you convince him?” I asked.
“Judith it was really easy. I told the truth. I told him that he would quadruple his chances of success if he used therapy and that the expense was worth it,” she answered. “It was kind of like an insurance policy for him, and I meant it.”
Nancy looked at me, engaged with a smile that spread from ear to ear. I was delighted that Nancy was so pleased but remained aware that psychotherapy is still considered a frightening process for sick people in many circles.
I ask you to ask yourself:
1. Do you use therapy?
2. If you use therapy, how does it help?
3. Is it worth the cost? Why or why not?
To Consider: Half a century ago, when I began to practice therapy with clients, it was kept hush-hush by many who saw me. Today, clients are proud to be working towards growth and are happy to tell others about the value of their investment.
Might you be one of those fortunate enough to grow with help? If so, I commend you on your courage and on your growth.
To Ask: Might I benefit from therapy if I have never done it? If your answer is, “well, maybe,” I encourage you to locate useful resources. It just might change your life.
ED. NOTE: Dr. Judith Coche is a retiring clinical psychologist who practiced in Stone Harbor and Philadelphia. She invites responses through her website, www.cochecenter.com.
