21st Catholic-How I’m becoming a True Catholic 3.15.2006

21stCatholic/3-15-06
How I’m Becoming A True Catholic
By NICK COLIN
The beginning of Lent, one of the most significant Catholic rituals, got me thinking about my faith in the Catholic Church and how it came to be an essential part of my life.
I was born a Roman Catholic. My mother insisted that my brothers and I go to church every Sunday, receive all the sacraments and go to either Catholic or Sunday school. I used to hate sitting in the uncomfortable pews for anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour, listening to passages from the Bible and bad jokes from the priest. I couldn’t wait for the day that I could make my own decisions, which would include not going to church and sleeping in on Sundays.
During my teenage years I didn’t know if I believed in Jesus or any kind of religion for that matter. Kurt Cobain and the rock gods of the grunge era was what I believed in. Then I met Christina. We dated throughout my entire tenure in college. We were inseparable for four years. Her parents were and are very involved at St. Paul’s Catholic Church in Stone Harbor. Christina has been captivating churchgoers with her angelic voice at five o’clock Mass on Saturdays since she was 5.
We’d go to campus church services every Sunday at Stockton College and take Bible classes together as our elective courses. At first I just wanted to make her happy. I also wanted her parents to approve of me.  Before long, though, I started really getting into my faith and taking it seriously. It led me to the day that I had a religious awakening.
My sophomore year we were sitting outside on a bench in the beautiful spring weather talking about God, the meaning of life, and ambitious goals we had like going to foreign countries to aid the less fortunate and other ways to perform selfless acts. Out of nowhere I felt a strong sensation caress my heart and an extreme rush of euphoria course through my veins. She felt something too. It was unlike any feeling I had ever felt before. We agreed that it had been something of a divine nature.
Later that night we watched Brother Son, Sister Moon, a biopic on Saint Francis of Assisi. As we discussed him and his work with the poor I felt the same natural high I had felt earlier. Trying to describe the feeling in words does no justice. I felt God’s touch that day and it is all the proof I’ve ever needed to believe in Him. I’ve longed for that feeling of closeness with God ever since.
A lot has changed since then. My faith has been tested more times than I can count and I haven’t always been dealt the hand that I preferred. Christina and I hardly talk anymore, but she will always mean the world to me. She helped me become a true believer, among other things, and for that I am forever in her debt.
Today, I’m not a religious zealot and I don’t push my beliefs on others unless they ask for an opinion or want guidance. My beliefs make me a better person, give me comfort in a world of uncertainties, and provide me with the blueprint to live my life.
The Catholic establishment is dogged by naysayers. Some hold grudges from their parochial school days when nuns rapped their knuckles with rulers. Others need proof instead of having faith and the rest have their reasons for not believing in one religion or the other.
I go to church to receive the sacraments and to learn. I don’t believe every word out of the priest’s mouth. After all, priests and nuns are only human.
I’m not yet a good Catholic or even a good person. Bono of the rock band U2 is a good Catholic. He spends countless hours trying to improve the lives of those less fortunate and expects nothing in return.
I want to do things like this and I always tell myself that I am going to look into a way that I can truly help people, especially the youth, but then I put it off or get wrapped up in something else. Going to church doesn’t make me a good Catholic. Perhaps, this Lent I will make good on my urge to help others. I’m open to suggestions and can be contacted at ncolin@cmcherald.com.