I thought I was kidding myself when I tried selling my old Slim Whitman 45’s on E-Bay last month, but the internet news out of China this week is about someone advertising to sell his soul on line to the highest bidder.
Now, I would think that since China is a staunchly Communist country, the idea that its citizens would even acknowledge the existence of souls would be big news.
But you can see what an infusion of good old Capitalism can do for a society’s perspective.
A Shanghai man recently listed his soul for sale on Taobao, China’s version of E-Bay. He had nearly sixty potential takers in the short time the order was posted.
Apparently, a lot of folks want to hedge their bets in China these days and the market for souls is poised to boom.
The posting was taken down. The reason had nothing to do with ideology, Marxist or Maoist.
It was taken down by Taobao with the reasoning that since a soul is a vague, ethereal type of product, there’s no guarantee that the seller would be able to come across with the merchandise if a transaction were to occur.
The Reuters news item went on to describe other oddball items that “go get ’em” Chinese entrepreneurs have been hawking on line.
One enterprising guy offered to rent out his forehead for advertising space.
I’ll be watching to see if he has any takers on that one because if that works, I’m positioned to make a fortune.
Being almost completely bald, I have enough forehead space to lease as billboards like the ones that litter the wetlands along the access roads to the island.
I also have an almost perfect circle of a bald spot on top that’s big enough to see from the space shuttle.
I’m set for years to come advertising with that shuttle as it orbits the globe filled with well to do tourists.
If I shine a flashlight on the spot at night, it’ll look like the Sahara Desert to those high rollers up in the shuttle.
To stretch the pun, the sky’s the limit on what I could do with the absence of hair on my head
No word as of this writing on whether the guy in China will get to sell his soul over the internet.
E-Bay’s policy states that no part of the human body can be sold.
There is a question in this instance about whether the soul constitutes a part of the human body.
The Chinese dodge that question apparently, by insisting that our imaginative huckster needs to get permission from a “higher authority,” since, technically speaking, that soul he’s trying to sell isn’t considered to be his personal property exclusively.
If he’s having a hard time obtaining that permission, I’d be willing to rent him my bald spot to help him get his request to the right people up in the heavens.
Congratulations to Margaret Mace School Students of the Month for March.
Selected by the teachers for showing initiative and making an extra effort are: Benjamin Bove, Dylan Elliott, Cecilio Concepcion, Christopher Korobellis (preschool); Julia Jett, Gianna Runner (kindergarten).
William Helm, Mackenzie McCracken (first grade); Paul Popovick, Brian Donnelly (second); Bene Wright, Brandon Fox (third).
Jacquelyn DeLong, Joseph Jett, Nikole Kantzios (fourth); Grace Lederer, Anthony Madle, Aubrey New (fifth).
Selected from the upper grades are Samantha Fox, Ashley Kostka (sixth); Kevin Gillespie, Laura Martin, Natyoshka Perez, Amanda Tantaros, Christine Tolomeo (seventh).
Chelsea DiGuglielmo, Shannon Tilley, Joseph Rogowski, Alec McAlarnen (eighth).
Cheer Tech hosts a cheerleading competition on Sunday, from 9 a.m.-8 p.m. at the Convention Center, Burk Avenue and the boardwalk.
Call (866) 52CHEER for tickets and information.
It’s family story time tonight at 6:30 at the Wildwood Crest Library, 6301 Ocean Ave.
Families can enjoy hearing a story while working on arts and crafts together. This event is for kids in kindergarten through eighth grade.
Story hour for preschool age children continues at the library tomorrow at 1:30 p.m. Call 522-0564 for more information.
The Salute to the 60’s rock ‘n roll weekend takes place April 28-30 at the Wildwood Convention Center. Call (888)729-0033 for information.
Last reminder: Holly Beach Fire Company and the Wildwood Civic Club offer a full breakfast and bake sale on Sunday, from 9 a.m.-1 p.m. at the firehouse, Montgomery and Washington avenues.
Your donation of $7 helps both organizations. Call 729-2771 for more information.
Fast Lane Biker Magazine hosts a spring kick-off motorcycle trade show on Saturday and Sunday from 9 a.m.-7 p.m. at the Convention Center.
In addition to lots of bikes, there will be music, exhibits, and vendors.
Greater Wildwood Tourism Improvement and Development Authority meets tomorrow at 6 p.m. in meeting room 4 at the Convention Center.
Wildwood Crest Borough Commission meets tonight at 7 p.m. at Borough Hall, 6101 Pacific Ave.
Reorganization meeting for the Wildwood Crest Board of Education is scheduled for Tuesday, April 25 at 7:30 p.m. at Crest Memorial School, 9101 Pacific Ave.
Wildwood zoners meet Monday, April 24 at 7 p.m. on the second floor of City Hall, 4400 New Jersey Ave.
North Wildwood Board of Education meets Monday at 6 p.m. at Margaret Mace School, 1201 Atlantic Ave.
There will be a special candlelight service at the Knights of Columbus, New York and First avenues, on Saturday, April 29 at 2 p.m. in honor of New Jersey’s fifty remaining POW-MIAs.
Call 868-3786 or 463-1221 for more information.
The Friends of Hereford Inlet Lighthouse are hosting a special fundraising event on Saturday, May 6 at the historic Abbie Holmes Estate, on Route 9 in Clermont.
The event raises funds for ongoing restoration of the lighthouse and will help the effort to create the Anglesea Historic Maritime Village.
Donation of $150 per guest is asked. For information, call 522-4520 by April 21.
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