Peer Leaders Listen, Learn, Interact

WILDWOOD – About 370 middle and high school peer leaders descended on the Wildwood Convention Center Nov. 17, participating in workshops, classes, games, and projects aimed at empowering them to set examples for peers through leadership, responsible citizenship, and personal development. 
As part of the 22nd annual Peer Leadership Conference sponsored by Cape Assist and the Cape May County Healthy Community Coalition, participants learned skills in a variety of topics.
Those ranged from how rumors affect individuals to emerging trends in video gaming, and how it can lead to internet gambling problems; how tobacco companies target young people for electronic smoking devices and what to expect should they encounter police officers.
“I thought we’d be sitting having people lecture us,” noted Emma McCoy, a senior peer leader at Wildwood Catholic High School who attended the conference. “I was thrilled to see how interactive it was with students from other schools. The keynote speaker was really good and made me think about how I looked at myself and judged myself against others. I realized some of my biases, and it’s helped me to think differently about things I do and how I act.”
This year’s conference was entitled “#CMCYouthStrong.” Students were able to visit various community group displays and participate in educational workshops taught by peer leaders from Lower Cape May Regional High School, Cape Technical High School, Wildwood High School and community educators from different organizations. Those included Cape Assist, the County Prosecutor’s Office, Atlantic Cape Community College, Middle Township Police Department, Tobacco Free for a Healthy NJ and NJ Council on Compulsive Gambling.
Keynote speaker Jeffrey Bucholtz, of San Diego, Calif. presented “The Social Medium: Safety and Respect in Our Online Interactions.” It focused on “creating positivity and respect online and off, thinking about our online lives and how they shape us and others and how to be an agent of change.”
He shared tips and insights on how to deal with cyberbullying and other aspects of social media. “The online world is a filtered reality,” he noted. “It’s fiction really. We take 10-20 selfies before we post one online because we want to portray ourselves a certain way. It’s really a reproduction of our life that poses as reality. The problem is that we treat it as the real world.”
Bridget Fitzpatrick, also a senior peer leader at Wildwood Catholic, said she was glad to see speakers from outside the county and workshops run by students. “We didn’t feel any pressure to act a certain way because an adult was there,” she explained. “We could let our guard down because we were all students.”
Positive Lifestyles
“We wanted to provide students with valuable information and interactive workshops that promote leadership, a positive lifestyle and healthy relationships,” said Natalia Wilber, Cape Assist Healthy Community Coalition coordinator/community educator.
“We wanted to talk about what matters to them,” added Katie Faldetta, Cape Assist executive director, who noted that this year’s attendance was the largest in the conference’s history, “a testament to the promotion done in the schools and the work of the coalition.”
The coalition is a group of community members from all walks of life and ages who are “building healthy communities by reducing substance abuse.”
Cape Assist, also known as the Cape May County Council of Alcoholism and Drug Abuse, Inc., seeks to educate all segments of the population on the dangers of tobacco, and drug and alcohol abuse, thus reducing risk factors for violence and fostering a healthy lifestyle.
What’s a Peer Leader?
Peer leaders are students chosen by school staff after students apply and meet certain criteria, which can include being a member of the National Honor Society, school attendance, holding leadership roles, having a positive presence within the student body, and college plans.
At the high school level, they often are seniors who mentor incoming freshman during their first year.
“At Cape Tech, 24 of us are selected,” explained Richard Miller, a senior peer leader attending the conference for a second year. “We meet every day during the first period to learn things about bullying, communications, sexual harassment and other topics that are then used when we meet with our smaller groups of freshmen monthly.”
“They are definitely respected by the other students,” noted Leah Satterfield, a Cape Tech senior also attending the conference for a second year as a peer leader.
She credits the Peer Leadership Program as “nipping in the bud” issues such as sexual harassment and bullying because they are addressed with students early in the school year.
“We don’t see a lot of it,” Miller and Satterfield said about bullying at Cape Tech.
“We’re a small school and really close, which is really nice,” added Miller. “We address these topics early on with the freshman to let them know about all the resources available, and that this is a safe environment where they can talk to anyone if something happens.”
Sophomores and juniors also hear about the various topics during regular classroom time, he said.
Victims Share Advice
Carlie Eckel, a senior peer leader at Lower Cape May Regional (LCMR) High School, wishes she had been more aware of things like the conference and peer leaders when she was in middle school and a victim of sexual harassment and bullying.
“Bullying, sexting, harassment are very widespread,” added Joe Walsh, a senior peer leader at LCMR. “The problem is that no one knows it’s happening because it’s considered so normal now. But it happens all the time.”
Eckel encouraged students to “take a step back” and look at the “facade they project on social media. People put a fake self on social media, just the good parts. If I had realized others were going through similar things that I went through, I could have been supported better instead of thinking I was alone and the only one going through such things.”
“Find someone you trust,” Walsh said about victims, “who won’t judge you. Tell them what is going on. They will help you find help to address the problems.”
Another peer leader who was bullied in fifth grade, Isabelle Smith, is an eighth-grader at Upper Township Middle School. She urged youths to “surround themselves with people who will accept you for whom you are, for the person you are rather than one you feel you have to pretend to be.”
In her case, she was bullied with text messages from people she considered friends. She reported the instances to her mother and school, the situation was resolved, and the perpetrator apologized.
“People feel they can say mean things and get away with it on social media,” added Marissa Simpson, another eighth-grade peer leader from Upper Township Middle School. “As you get older, it gets worse and you see people’s true colors.”
Simpson recalled a situation last year when an inappropriate photo of a close friend was circulated among classmates. “I never saw the picture, but I heard about it happening in one of my classes,” she said. “I would have stopped people from sending it if I had seen it or received it. Sometimes people have more nerve to send things on social media than if they were face-to-face with someone.”
Similar Challenges
Faldetta said both high school and middle school students face similar challenges, but the severity and sophistication increase as students get older.
“In high school, you might see sexting occur while in middle school bullying might involve name-calling,” the Cape Assist executive director said.
“The workshops focused on everything from improving communications skills to learning safety tips for navigating the world of technology and social media. Can you stop something when you see it and know it’s not cool? It’s empowering for kids to know how, and that’s what we hope to teach them through all the activities,” Faldetta concluded.
To contact Karen Knight, email kknight@cmcherald.com.