Sunday, October 1, 2023

Notes to my neighbors 1/18/2006

By Rick Racela

Just a few hours ago, I woke up to windows rattling violently.
I didn’t look outside right away, but when I did, wow! I forgot the weatherman had predicted snow. In my neck of the woods, we actually only have a thin crusting of icy snow that crackles and crunches when cars drive over it.
Not a good day to go to early Mass – or early anything. I’m sure it will thaw later, so for now, I’ll settle in for a quiet, cozy morning.
I love mornings like this. Time for an extra cup of coffee and a bit of toasted Irish soda bread, homemade by my favorite Irish breadmaker, Tom.
Gives me some time to catch up on the news. First, of course, I check the new and improved Herald online to see if there’s any breaking news that’s been added since the paper came out Wednesday morning.
What? You haven’t been there yet? Oh, you must. If you want the latest of all our local news, you must go to www.capemaycountyherald.com.
And yes, there it is, news of the robbery at the Cape Savings Bank on the corner of routes 47 and 9, posted minutes after it happened on Wednesday.
And if you’re a fan of Spout Off, you’ll be a super fan of the real-time, interactive Spout Off on the Web site.
After the local update, I get the global dish on the Comcast site.
I’m only slightly embarrassed to say that after I read the headlines about Sharon’s health and Alito’s nomination hearings, I can’t resist turning to the story about Brangelina.
I’m sure the whole world knows by now that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are expecting their first baby this summer.
Thank goodness! I was worried sick that they wouldn’t procreate before they move on to their next partners.
On the other hand, I’m very worried about how the news will affect Jennifer Aniston, who, she announced, is finally emotionally ready to date again after Brad dumped her, which was reported shortly before she posed semi-nude for the cover of Vanity Fair.
So, I’m reading Erin Carlson’s AP story in which she reports “Pitt and Jolie may make a beautiful baby.” That’s news? Even I could have predicted that. I’ll even stick my neck out and predict that Carlson will not win a Pulitzer for this story.
But I do find it fascinating that Carlson got three doctors to go on record as having opinions about the baby’s looks.
Personally, I don’t know any doctors who have such time to waste or the inclination to do so.
One interviewee is obviously an expert because he “studies human attractiveness,” and “uses math to measure beauty ratios.” Now there’s a shoo-in for the Nobel Prize in science.
I finish the article and I’m wracked with questions.
One: Who cares?
Here’s a statistic for you: 99.9 percent of the population will never actually set eyes on this child, so why does it matter what our eyes would see if they could?
Two, isn’t there any interesting news today?
Let’s try TV. Oh, no. It’s TO.
Yes, to my horror, Terrell Owens is back. ESPN is airing a story about his making a commercial. I’m sure if I had a product to sell, I’d want Mr. Sincerity to push it.
Okay, forget the news. Let me turn to my favorite, the Food Channel. Ah, and my favorite cook, Rachael Ray.
She’s so cute, what with her squeaky little laugh. I just love it when she tosses a salad and a radish gets away from her and she squeals “Radish overboard!”
There she goes: every burner’s sizzling, the veggies are flying as she’s slicing and dicing.
Eight minutes left. Will she make it? Will she “have made a delicious and nutritious meal and get it on the table in under 30 minutes”?
Actually, she’s making me tired watching.
Maybe there’s a good movie on.
Oops, I stumbled onto the playoff game between the Colts and the Steelers. Quick, Carolyn, hit the remote.
Too late. Here comes Art.
“Not really my teams, but there’s nothing else to watch,” he says, grinning and settling into his recliner.
Maybe I can find some cartoons on the TV in the bedroom.
Or maybe the snow’s melted and I can get out of here.

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