New Virus Rules Impact Funerals, Grieving

To access the Herald’s local coronavirus/COVID-19 coverage, click here.
COURT HOUSE – Families facing the sadness of a loved one dying during the COVID-19 pandemic must still follow the health and social distancing guidelines, likely extending the grieving process without physical support of family and friends.
According to John J. Radzieta, manager of a local funeral home and first vice president of the New Jersey State Funeral Directors Association, funeral directors are facing “a different world” as they try to support families whose loved one has died, putting them in “a rough spot” because nothing can be done now to provide physical contact and support.
“We had a baby’s funeral just last month, and we felt terrible because the family could only have a maximum of 10 people, including funeral home staff and clergy,” Radzieta said. “The parents thanked us for the support we could provide, but they couldn’t hug any of us. They bumped elbows and shoulders and said when this is over; they will come and give us the biggest hugs ever.”
“We’re not robots,” he pointed out. “It’s just awful.”
Radzieta explained that social distancing rules allow only 10 people to view the deceased, and “no shifts” of people are allowed in the funeral home. “It’s 10 people, that’s it,” he said. “Otherwise, if you did shifts, we’d be exposing everyone to more than 10 people.”
Some families are opting for a service at the funeral home, with private cremation or burials. Many say they will hold memorial services after the pandemic is over. Others are livestreaming the service.
“I hope people do go through with their memorial service, otherwise family and friends will have unresolved grief,” he said. “It’s extending the grieving process. A year later, people will find they haven’t any closure.”
As of April 13, Radzieta said his Court House facility didn’t have any COVID-19-related deaths. “The state doesn’t want any touching of the body if someone has died from COVID-19,” he noted. “We wear the same personal protective equipment (PPE) that the hospital staffs are wearing when we handle a body.”
In making funeral arrangements, Radzieta said they are done by phone and email, so there is no contact between people. His staff is working in shifts, one at a time, so potential exposure to the virus is limited. Florists can still take orders for floral arrangements by phone and deliver them to the funeral home or cemetery without personal contact. For the most part, families are delaying the printing of memorial cards.
“We’ve only had one family ask for memorial cards,” he noted, “because they felt so empty. People need community support, no matter how it’s shown.”
Radzieta pointed out churches are apt to be backed up with requests for services post-pandemic.
Now, North New Jersey funeral homes are running out of space to store bodies, and Radzieta said some are being shipped to South Jersey for cremation and storage.
“Look at a map of the virus, it hasn’t gotten here yet,” he pointed out. “The numbers are jumping quickly. I hope we don’t see the numbers jump like North New Jersey, but the chances are slim.”
Cemeteries set the time and date a burial can occur, adhering to all the health and social distancing rules, as well. “You can have 10 people at the burial site,” Radzieta explained, “including funeral home staff, clergy, family and friends, and cemetery staff.
“So what happens is that the family has to stay in their car until everything is set up,” he explained. The cemetery staff prepares the site and the funeral home sets up everything. The workers help take the body to the gravesite and then leave. State law requires that one licensed funeral director is at the site, so we have one person there so the family can be there.
“It’s a different world.”
To contact Karen Knight, email kknight@cmcherald.com.