“We are so sorry pastor and Mrs. Sheptock but at your age and with your history, we strongly urge you to consider terminating this pregnancy before it ends in another heartache for you. With things the way they are, we give this baby little to no chance of survival. We can’t tell you what to do but that is our counsel.” These were the very words spoken to us back in late 2002 after we discovered that Terri was pregnant again.
Things ended horribly in 1995 and 1999 with the delivery of our sons, Nicholas and Benjamin, both dying within hours after their births. Nothing ever takes away the pain that an empty crib and longing arms bring to a family. I guess that the physicians believed they were doing their due diligence in directing us the way they did. But with our faith in God and our commitment to life, going that road was never even an option.
I remember slipping into the hospital chapel before I left and prayed a prayer to God that was as raw and real as ever came out of my mouth. I was now 43 years old and three of our kids were 17, 16 and 12 collectively and the last thing I looked forward to was another kick in the gut.
I fought hard on my knees and promised the Lord that I would do anything and everything I could to battle for the life of this little one, but I knew that the outcome was out of my hands. And we left the hospital that day with no guarantees, but a soul filled with hope and a spirit surrendered to heaven.
In early 2003, we found out that this baby was going to be another boy and we named him Joel Thomas. The name Joel is taken from two of God’s names, Jehovah and Elohim, and literally means the Lord is God. If this baby had any chance to be raised by his mom and dad, it would only be because of the grace and mercy of our compassionate and powerful God.
Joel became the most prayed for baby in Cape May County, as I was pastoring in South Jersey at the time. On a late night in July, Terri was taken to the hospital. I was actually live on the radio at the time, but my shift came to a sudden stop as I scooted over to the hospital as fast as my car could get me there.
In the wee early hours of July 30th, Joel Thomas Sheptock entered the world, and he was healthy and strong and fully formed. The only weakness he had was that his body temperature needed warming up quickly, and instead of using a machine, the nurse handed the newborn over to me and this hotblooded father got him nice and toasty in no time as he was clinging to my chest. I knew at that moment I was experiencing a miracle. The love I felt at that moment had no man-made gauge to measure it. We were going to be able to raise another child and Terri and I were breathless, speechless and bubbling with a newfound energy that only a divine source could supply.
Joel is getting married today. Yes, that is not a typo. Fast forward 20 years and now we are witnessing the union of our youngest son with his bride, Sophia, in a few hours here in Indiana.
Raising Joel has been a mixture of joy, pride and happy tears, marveling at his abilities, reflecting on the privilege that it has been walking alongside him as we have observed his many accomplishments since 2003. Joel is wiser and more mature than his age would give him credit for.
My dad passed in September 2000, and I mourn the reality that he never got to meet this grandson that he would have been so proud of but then I notice the similarities between the two of them. Joel has the knack of observing something once and then being able to pull it off as if he has been at it for years. Whatever instrument that Joel has given attention to, he not only learned to play it but excelled at it immediately.
One day I came into the house and thought that he was playing a Billy Joel record, “The Piano Man,” in his room. Picture my amazement when I walked in and saw him at the piano with the harmonica strapped on a holder playing the tune to perfection. Over the years I bought him a piano, guitar, harmonica, cello and even a kalimba to dabble with. Never did I hesitate to think it would be a waste of money because I knew that whatever he set his mind to, he would nail it.
Every Christmas, Joel would get a Lego set that would have taken me forever to put together. Who are we kidding? With me, it would have never left the box, but Joel would have it all together just before the holiday dinner.
Joel does something that I have never done. He reads the directions and does his homework to prep well before he tackles a project. The first thing I would do when I got something out of the box was throw the directions over my shoulder. My lack of patience has cost me finishing many journeys that I started but not my son.
As he prepared to get married on this day, he went to college online and held two full-time jobs and this proves that he was serious about getting married and providing for his new family. Amid a generation that demands everything be handed to them, here comes Joel, a true blast from the past with the work ethics that would make my grandparents proud.
All my children and all my grandchildren are under the same roof tonight. Earlier this week, I saw my oldest and youngest boys playing catch together and then helping me teach two of my grandsons the art of pitching, something all my kids did very well. I beamed as I just looked at the way my daughters raise their brood, both which include a set of twins.
I laughed out loud yesterday as I sat on the front porch having a gargling contest with several of the grandkids just enjoying life for what it is. Life is hard and you won’t hear me romanticize what has been crippling at times. But God is good, and I have seen flowers bloom in the concrete and caught the taste of sweetness amidst the sour saltiness storms throw at us.
Many ask why Joel is getting married so young. His mom and I were just kids when we committed our lives to one another 41 years ago. Joel had a near death accident late December of last year. It didn’t make him bitter, it made him determined. He made some wise choices and daring adjustments and I cheered him on. Kids were not meant to live according to the way we want them to go, but answering the call of the God who made them.
Two times death tried to take Joel out in demonstrative ways. Both times the Lord made it clear that the number of our days is according to His timetable and not our own. It’s sad when we who have no excuse waste days as if we have an unlimited supply. I watch my son, knowing that he was never given to us as our right or possession, but as a gift. I stand here so proud and so excited and so blessed. Keep your vanity and I will value my family.
Thank you, Lord, for the privilege of raising such an amazing kid. Today he starts his own family and I let him go into your care knowing that his track record is pointing to many more eternal exercises to come. I love being a husband, a dad and a pop-pop and whatever time I have left on the clock, I pray that my actions and behavior bring glory to my heavenly Father who made all that is happening today possible! Getting married on Friday the 13th might be a bad omen for many, but for a miracle named Joel and his new bride, Sophia, it’s just another day in paradise!
ED. NOTE: The author left the Lighthouse Church, in Court House, in 2021 after 24 years as its lead pastor. He wrote a weekly column for the Herald during that time. He now lives in western Pennsylvania.
