CREST HAVEN — These are tough times here in Cape May County. A bad economy, out-of-control unemployment, rampant home foreclosures, energy costs going through the roof. Add in the holidays – a time for gift giving galore and holiday cheer. It’s the perfect mix for a blue Christmas.
It’s no wonder there’s a higher volume of depression, anxiety and suicide attempts during the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas.
“The hysteria of Christmas starts earlier and earlier,” Dr. Glenn Zielinski, Medical Director of Cape Counseling Services and Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at UMDNJ School of Medicine, told the Herald.
Time and money seem to be what’s in short supply during the holidays. Not enough time to get it all done and not enough money in which to make holiday hopes happen.
“I’m an osteopath,” said Zielinski. “We’re trained to look at the whole picture. We look a the whole person and the culture and we try to help people to understand that it’s just a date.”
But for most, that date means the jingle of the bells is all about the jingle of money in the tills of the mall.
If money is an issue, be honest with those you would normally buy for.
“We wish that we could revitalize our economy,” he said, “And then we end up catastrophizing what we can’t do.”
In addition to the lack of money, as the holidays approach, sunlight seems to go into short supply, too, plunging an already dark mood into the darkness of winter.
“Every culture has a festival of lights,” said Zielinski.
Add an already depressed mood to Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and it’s a double whammy.
“Go for a walk on the beach or boardwalk,” said Zielinski. “Or sit in a sunny window.”
He added that in order for a visit with the sun to be effective, not wearing sunglasses while outside is important.
“The sun communicates with the brain through the retinas,” he said.
On an interesting note, he shared that Victorian homes were often built with large expanses of glass. He explained how during that era having a tan was taboo, yet the Victorians understood the importance of the sun and mood.
“They would sit inside absorbing the sun,” he said.
Holidays, too, seem to bring to the fore the need for merriment, cheer, opulence and familial bonding. People’s perception of what the holiday should be is set more by Hallmark than by reality.
“People have to realize life is more like the Simpsons, not like Martha Stewart,” said Zielinski. “Happiness,” he added, “is wanting what you have; not having what you want.”
For many, however, Christmastime can be a very lonely time. The death of a parent, child or loved one, job loss, financial difficulties, a loved one away from home, or divorce can make a person feel isolated, especially during the holidays.
Zielinski stressed the need for people who are feeling isolated to actively seek the company of others.
“No one is going to knock on your door to invite you,” said Zielinski, stressing the importance of reaching out to others.
“Talk to people,” he said. “It’s like pus. It has to come out. When you feel alone you feel isolated.”
The doctor also emphasized the importance of not just being around people, but being around people who are supportive.
“We have control over whom we associate with and what we expect,” he said. “Research has shown that what makes us happy is being with others.”
“If you don’t get satisfaction,” he added, “then contact a health care professional or a clergyman.”
In a season that is fraught with pictures of familial bliss, those people without close family ties can sometimes feel left out and alone. Zielinski said that simply being around good friends could be helpful.
“The family you choose,” he said, “Is sometimes better.”
Depression can manifest itself in many ways. Zielinski said the list can include sleeplessness, sleeping too much, loss of ambition, loss of interest in things that used to give pleasure, changes in concentration, weight loss or weight gain. Include in the list, also is feeling guilty for feeling depressed. A person may start to think that death is an option.
“Half of the people who have committed suicide have voiced their thoughts and reached out to someone,” he added.
When asked for an example of a cry for help, he cited a person verbalizing, “my life isn’t worth living anymore, I find no reason to go on…” needs to be heeded.
He stressed getting help for that person immediately. Not doing so, he said, “Is like sitting across from someone and watching them turn blue. Suicidal thoughts can kill you just as fast as chest pain.”
To help manage through the holidays Zielinski shared some sage advice. “Don’t buy into the expectation. That’s the poison. Focus on the blessings that you do have,” he said. “Make the holiday what you want it to be. Happiness is an inside job.”
For those who need help or feel overwhelmed, help is a phone call away. Cape Counseling Services can be reached at 609-465-4100. Those in crisis may also call 9-1-1 or go to their nearest emergency room.
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Town Bank – STOP sending OUR money to countries all over the world and giving it illegal immigrants in various forms as Americans are dying in the Southeast. CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME!
