Funeral Home’s Heritage Links to 1700s

CAPE MAY – Over the course of the past four centuries the lifespan of Americans has lengthened considerably from the 18th century through today.
But even with the promise of a longer life, the inevitable will happen. Science has not been able to crack the nut that will allow us to live forever. And at that point, families will find themselves in need of an undertaker.
The Spilker Funeral Home, 815 Washington St., can trace its lineage back to the late-1700’s. From the simple six-sided wooden box and a burial on the family farm of yesteryear to a state-of-the-art casket and a video montage with music, the funeral home’s roots run deep in the Cape May community.
According to Jim Campbell, 82, of Court House, the first records of undertaking in Cape May can be traced to Isaac Smith who lived on Seashore Road south of the Cape May Canal. Smith, a coffin maker, made 327 coffins from 1793 until his death in 1822.
Joseph Ware, a neighbor of Smith, filled in as a coffin-maker during Smith’s absences. Later, Ware’s son, Samuel Fithian Ware, a woodworker, took over the reins when Smith passed away.
“You could argue that the only surviving funeral business in Cape May started in 1793, but there is no question that it started with Samuel Fithian Ware in 1827,” wrote Campbell in a history of the Spilker Funeral Home.
Ware interred over 1,500 bodies. Upon his death in 1877, his grandson, Henry Rutherford took over the family business.
In the 1881 Cape May City Directory, Rutherford and his father-in-law were listed as being carpenters and undertakers.
In 1888, Rutherford opened a dry goods store at 506 Washington St., where the back room, nicknamed “the morgue,” was used to prepare bodies. Local legend has it that Rutherford would use “the morgue” in the evening to play cards with his friends.
Rutherford purchased a property on Decatur Street, naming it “Rutherford Hall.” His funeral parlor was on the first floor, with meeting rooms on the second and apartments on the third.
An interesting piece of trivia about Rutherford is that he brought the first motor-driven hearse to the city in 1918.
Rutherford passed away in 1935, having conducted almost 3,000 funerals. The business, however, had been sold to Rutherford’s assistant, Earl Hollingsead in 1928.
The current funeral home property at 815 Washington St. was purchased by Hollingsead in 1937.
An announcement of an open house for the home’s formal opening states, “Extensive remodeling and redecorating has changed what was a beautiful residence into a modern and completely equipped funeral home. Changes have been made which will provide for the greatest possible comfort of every one attending a funeral held there. Furnishings are of the most approved type.”
Upon Hollingsead’s retirement in 1968, his assistant, John Sudak became owner of the business. Sudak ran the business for many years. In 1974 Sudak’s son-in-law, David Danaher joined the family business. Danaher’s name was added to the name of the facility in 1995.
The home’s current owner, Dennis Spilker, took a position at the Sudak-Danaher Funeral Home in October 1994. In December 2010, Spilker purchased the home from the Danaher family.
“This is a small, close-knit community,” Spilker told the Herald. “Like my predecessors, I’ve put my name out front.”
Originally from Williamstown, Spilker has made Cape May County his home.
“I was 22 years old when I came here, and I’ve been here ever since,” he said.
Many of Spilker’s employees have been with the funeral home for decades. With a staff of eight people, “We are like family here,” he said.
Ella Mulrenin, of Cape May, is the bookkeeper. Hired by Sudak when he bought the business in 1968, Mulrenin has kept the company’s books for the past 40 years.
“We like continuity around here,” said Mulrenin, with a smile. “We don’t like to upset the apple cart.”
The business of death has changed considerably since the days of Smith’s coffin making.
“I’ve taken a fresh approach to funeral services,” said Spilker. To that end, Spilker has tried to turn the focus toward celebrating the life of the deceased.
“It’s about cherishing life’s moments,” said Spilker, “and focusing on the life and the living.”
Changing times mean changing ways of dealing with death. To that end, Spilker listens to families.
“We provide tradition, non-traditional and complete cremation services,” he said.
A funeral service can include a last drive by the beach before interment, a video tribute of 40 – 60 photos with music or a favorite song or a memorial web page that mourners can visit on-line.
“We do things to promote our beautiful surroundings,” said Spilker. “All of our processions involve a procession next to the ocean.”
Burying the dead in a small community like Cape May has made Spilker more aware of his commitment to the families he serves. He shared that many times his job involves performing funeral services for people he knows personally.
“It’s difficult sometimes,” he said.
Much like his predecessors, Spilker is aware of the changing tides in funerary.
“It’s constantly evolving,” he said. “I don’t know where it will be 50 years from now.”
With a business that spans almost 220 years, Spilker is aware of the onus that falls on him to maintain its future.
“I’m honored to have the privilege to have that lineage,” he said. “To carry on funeral services in this area. I feel a great responsibility to take care of it because there will be a day when I pass it on to someone else.”