COURT HOUSE – “Listening to what kids need from us to be successful” is what Bill Oakley credits for the success of two youth leadership conferences sponsored by the New Jersey State Elks Association, a service group with lodges in North Wildwood and Villas.
“It took a long time for us to finally understand that we need to listen to kids and let them tell us what they need from us to be successful, rather than us telling them what we think they need,” Oakley said.
“Our members sit with the students at the conferences, have lunch with them, and listen to them. I give a lot of credit to those students who have attended our conferences. We have been blessed with kids who want to learn, and want to do something when they go back to their schools and communities,” he added.
The state Elks Association sponsors two youth conferences:
- Peer Leadership Conference, a three-day event for high school students that has been held for 27 years.
- In 2014, Elks began their anti-bullying initiative aimed for sixth through eighth graders. It is the topic for a one-day event as part of another conference called “Our Path to Leadership.”
“The first year we held the Peer Leadership Conference, it was free,” said Oakley, a former past president of the state Elks Association who lives in Rio Grande. “We had 125 attendees and the feedback was good. So we decided to do it again, but needed to charge $50.
“The following year, we had 200 people attend, and we were amazed. They must have found it to be a good program because people were willing to pay for it.
“We really have quality speakers and now, it’s held in Long Branch, (Monmouth County) so for people to travel from Cape May or from northern Jersey to attend, it must be good,” he added.
The goal of the conference is to give students tools and information to be peer mentors to fellow students so they can make positive choices living a drug-free lifestyle.
“We try to help the students realize how to solve problems without drugs and alcohol,” Oakley noted, “and to understand there are other options. We bring in top speakers from different walks of life so the students hear about different life situations and how to deal with them.”
The 2016 conference is slated for Feb. 5-7 with the anti-bullying session scheduled for Feb. 4.
Topics include a variety of motivational speakers who aim to address change, building self-esteem, personal motivation and opportunities, including:
- Davey Muise, a front man for the Boston hardcore band VANNA, who uses music to get his message across.
- Kevin Laue, who works for the United Nations and represents people with disabilities.
- Albert Mensah, who grew up in Ghana and came to the U.S. on a soccer scholarship.
“Mensah talks about opportunities that we don’t realize we even have,” Oakley said. “He does a great job.”
Over the years, more and more adults attend the conference, especially the one on anti-bullying, Oakley said. “Teachers want to come and learn, so we have one session on bullying and social media geared for adults and presented by the Cape May County Prosecutor’s Office,” Oakley added.
“It’s impressive when you see 400 students come together like this,” Oakley said. “They are the answer to change in this world. Kids are growing up so fast these days, and have all this technology available to them. Sometimes that technology can lead to trouble.
“We live in such an angry world today that it’s hard to get by sometimes when everyone is so upset,” he continued. “We don’t have all the answers, but we try to give the students an understanding of how they can change things and make a difference.
“They get so many mixed messages today,” he added. “For instance, we spend years preaching that drugs are bad for you, but then we have politicians who say marijuana is OK to use. Try to explain that to a kid.”
Students can attend by being nominated by their school or community group, or by their own choice. Parents, teachers and youth group leaders can also attend.
More information can be found by contacting Oakley at 972-3454 or through the Elks website.
To contact Karen Knight, email kknight@cmcherald.com.
