Happy Mother’s Day to All Motherless Children

First let me start with Happy Mother’s day to every mother. Happy Mother’s Day to all maternal figures! Every, grandmother, mother, aunt, sibling, friend and family member who take on the task of being mothers to children everywhere; I salute you. You deserve nothing more than the best of the best!
I am going to be bold and wish a happy Mother’s Day to motherless children. Happy Mother’s Day to all of you because this is a day you probably regret the reminder.
I read an article in regards to motherless children on Mother’s Day a few weeks ago and I thought this is something more people should write about. I am not a writer but the subject of losing a mother is one that is near and dear to my heart. I would like nothing more than to write a book in regards to the journey I have been on and will continue to be on for quite some time.
Two years ago I received a phone call that my mother was being put on a ventilator and that as her next of kin I would need to make life and possibly death decisions for her. At 24 years of age, I really do not know many young women who could, or would, face this situation with the strength necessary. I am still not sure how I had the strength for this.
On Mother’s Day that year, even though I could not take my mother out or even talk to her, I made the two-hour trip up to the hospital where she was, and spent the entire day with her. I bought her beautiful roses, the red ones she loved, and a heartfelt card that she ultimately never got to read. I actually kept that card and still have it to this day. Aside from the touching saying provided by Hallmark in regards to Mother’s Day, I wrote, “Mom, Please wake up soon so I can take you out to a nice dinner and spend the whole day with you shopping and laughing. Love, Heather and Andy.” A few short weeks later I had no choice but to take her off life support.
I loved every second of spending time holding my mother’s hand that Mother’s Day and spending it by her bedside, but it was the worst for me emotionally. Little did I know, that exactly one year later on Mother’s Day, I would be taking my grandmother out of her nursing home and bringing her back to my house on hospice. Granny thought this was the best Mother’s Day gift ever. I thought, “Really? Me bringing you to my home on your last journey in this world is the best gift? I think it’s a rather tragic one.” I could not have been more wrong. I had always been close with my granny, but those last two weeks were the best times I had ever spent with her. Unfortunately, due to timing, Mother’s Day once again was equally hard and horrible for me. I ultimately knew this was my last Mother’s Day having my mother or grandmother with me.
Many of you are able to share this Mother’s Day with your own mother. For those of you, like me, who are unable to I say, happy day to you. Remember the Mother’s Days you shared with them. I’m sure you are also thinking of the many things you would have been doing with them.
Living without your mother is difficult all year long, but Mother’s Day is even more difficult because you are blatantly reminded that she is no longer physically here with you. You should know that she is always here with you. She may not be here physically, but she is standing beside you, hugging you, as you go through this emotional battle called life.
This Mother’s Day, though you may want to stay in bed and not get up; get up and go outside. I have dreaded this day since the beginning of the year and now I believe there was no reason to dread it. Yes I miss both my mother and granny dearly, but I will not let it stop me from turning it into a beautiful day of remembrance for them. I plead with you to do the same.
Whatever you wanted to do with your mother today, do it. If you are not comfortable doing it by yourself ask a friend to accompany you. Remember your mother. Remember the good times, the bad times, the overwhelming sadness when she passed, the joy her life always brought to you, and the touching remembrance of her spiritual being that follows you wherever you go. She is your mother after all; death will not stop her from keeping a watchful eye on you! Celebrate the joy of your mother though she is not here.
If you have not done so, visit her grave with her favorite flowers. No one can truly understand what you are going through, but on a day like today where some are reminded of the fact that their mother is no longer here, I know how you feel. Be a little selfish and enjoy the day.
To all motherless children, young and old, Happy Mother’s Day to you; may you have joy, sorrow and peace on this blessed day.
In dedication to my mother, Colleen Kuchen (September 1962 – May 2013) and my granny, Ruth Sheehy (June 1924 – May 2014).