A Houseful of Bliss: Adopting an Adult Dog

“Mother’s love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved.”
– Erich Fromm
Regular readers remember the sudden loss of our beloved and iconic four-legged canine kid, Boomer. A full body of salt and pepper afro curls framed the gentle wisdom of Boomer’s face: expressively steady teddy bear eyes looked straight at you as Boomer absorbed the subtleties of the interactions around him. Movie star handsome, strangers asked to pet him: Boomer knew how to steal the show.
There was no way to know that Boomer, seemingly in the full bloom of health at age nine, was carrying a deadly illness. We learned of this tragedy April 4, at Ryan Veterinary hospital, University of Pennsylvania. Shockingly, Boomer died peacefully within 24 hours of indicating sufficient discomfort to warrant veterinary intervention. Pericardial effusion is called “the great pretender” because it often leaves seemingly sudden death in its wake. And so, on an unforgettable Saturday morning, Boomer died peacefully with my hand lovingly on his side. I was so shocked that it was days before tears came, but come they did.
A stabilizing presence for our family, friends and clients, Boomer was John’s dog. His Lincolnesque intelligence leaves a cavernous hole in John’s life, which centered around multiple dog daily walks and pats.
But Boomer was not my dog. My dog is an agile, spritely, ridiculously loving 2-year-old black wavy beauty named Oakley. Oakley is named for Annie Oakley, the prettiest, smartest sharp shooter in the history of our country, and a trailblazer for women’s rights.
Oakley came to us at nine weeks, straight from the loving nest of her Mama. She was born into the waiting hands of superb breeder and trainer, Marlene Nicewander, in North Carolina. The daughter of agility champ CH Deer Chase’s Christmas Bliss at Cove’s End, Oakley moves with speed and accuracy. All 40+ pounds burrow deeply into our laps when we say “Snugglebuggles!” Born for love, she is a fun-loving example of why so many of us own dogs.
Once Boomer’s shocking death had been digested, Marlene and I considered how to replace John’s major loss. John and I ached for a mature dog: two wise Portuguese water dogs had filled this spot for us for the last 16 years. Our granddaughters missed burying their heads in soft black curls. Oakley had no canine ears to nibble, no wise presence to guide her natural ebullience. The dogs balanced each other and rounded out our full lives.
Surprised at herself, Marlene spontaneously mentioned Bliss. Mama Bliss, the elegant, loving dog that had created Oakley, was done breeding puppies. She had years of triumph performing canine gymnastics (agility) and water Olympics. Championed and titled, she was as loving as her daughter and in her healthy prime at barely seven. Marlene wanted Bliss to have her best life and knew we can provide Bliss with family travel, the ocean at Stone Harbor, the variety of Rittenhouse Square, and the love of clients and family. Might Marlene gift her to us if she fits into our family?
Speechless, relief seeped into each pore. Bliss provided the irreplaceable treasure of a mature dog. “Marlene, I can’t believe you would ever let Bliss leave your home. Bliss is your love, a Christmas gift from husband Ron, the pride of your amazing training talents.”
“I always try to do what is best for the dog,” she said slowly and quietly. “With us, Bliss can only stay home day after day. I have to attend to the younger dogs in training. But you have a wonderful life to offer her, and she is able to learn to love you deeply. I believe things happen for a reason. I can’t believe I am even saying this, but I mean it. If this is good for Bliss it is wise to try.”
So yesterday we brought Bliss to Rittenhouse Square and tomorrow she smells her first ocean! Bliss will meet her human family this Mother’s Day, in a barbecue with a cake in her honor and some chicken for her and Oakley. This unbeatable mother-daughter canine team becomes our four legged adopted canine daughters. As Bliss mothers her adorable daughter Oakley, so will we mother Bliss. The adoption cycle continues, enriching the lives of all involved. After the month trial papers pass hands: we become as legally responsible for Bliss as we were for our three human daughters, now adults.
Superb mothering has a selfless quality. Mama Marlene has gifted her four-legged daughter with what she needed, and has provided us all with the most valuable of Mother’s Day gifts. Bliss has been granted Marlene’s love with no limitations. And, in fact, so have we.
To Consider: What is special about a Mother’s love for you? Why?
To read: Erich Fromm. The Art of Loving. 1956.
Dr. Judith Coche works with mothers and daughters at The Coche Center, LLC, in Stone Harbor and Rittenhouse Square. Find her at www.cochecenter.com.